Page 8 of Stitch
“Let’s go back out there, and see if we can figure out who your midnight snogger is!”
Lissa dragged me back out and we headed back into the bar, which had quietened down a little. In fact, there were more than a few guys missing. Some had had girls all over them, and I figured they’d gone off to fuck. I stayed another hour with Lissa and Ice, and a few others, and I never saw anyone who looked remotely like my secret biker.
Six
The nightmare was thesame as it always was. I woke up in a darkened hospital room, and they’d taken more than they should have. Sometimes it was both balls, sometimes my entire junk was gone. This time, they’d taken my legs too. I was just a fucking torso, and I lay there, screaming for help, and nobody came.
It takes me way too fucking long to wake from those hellish dreams; usually Elise has to shake me awake, and I knew it was one of the reasons why she’d come with me to the clubhouse. Well, that and the fact that she knew I’d been teetering on the edge of giving up for so long.
“Sorry, go back to sleep, I’m fine.”
Elise shook her head, climbing in beside me.
“Seth, I really wish you’d talk to me properly. I know I’m only your baby sister, but I can listen, even if I don’t understand what you’re going through. I’d do anything for you.”
I slid out of bed and headed for the bathroom.
“I’m gonna shower and get up. I won’t sleep again now, but you need to sleep, sis, please.”
She groaned, and moved back to the foldout bed, which must feel like hell to sleep in.
“Use my bed, dammit. That thing is shit.”
I closed the door, and went straight to the shower, dropping my shorts as I stepped in. This was the worst part. This was when I couldn’t hide from it any longer.There were no bandages or covers, but there were stitches. I was dreading them removing them, because then I’d have to show that vulnerability again, and let them see down there, and touch my ruined junk. It’s like an animal exposing its throat to a predator, that sounds weird, but that’s how it feels, like I’m giving them the last of my fucking dignity and strength.
I turned on the water and stepped under it, wincing as it started colder than I wanted, then I dropped down and sat on the floor of the bath, my knees pulled up to my chest. How the hell was I supposed to act like everything was normal? I was missing pretty vital part of my body, and despite all of their platitudes, I knew it wasn’t the end of this hell. I knew that the biopsy was going to show that my life was over. I could feel it, so why the fuck was I just sitting here when my days were numbered? I should be out there living life to the fullest. I should be experiencing everything, before I run out of time. I normally seesawed between a desperate urge to do something, anything, and a deep lethargy, that I usually gave in to.
Not this time. I stood up again, washed fast, and dried off. As always, I squeezed my eyes closed as I washed down there, trying not to feel how different it was, and how wrong it was. So fucking wrong.
No wonder I couldn’t take it further with that girl last night. I wanted to, so fucking badly, but the second she got a look at the disastrous remains of my ‘manhood’, she’d either laugh or run the other way, and besides, what if I couldn’t even fucking get it up? I hadn’t tried, because trying meant touching it, and I… hell, it was like I’d become afraid of my own dick.
Fuck this.
I wrapped a towel around me, and went back into my room. I moved quietly, because Elise seemed to be sleeping again, thankfully. I dressed quickly, grabbed my phone and keys, and headed for the door.
As I reached the stairs, I could hear partying still going on. Was it not as late as I thought? Was it just a couple of my brothers, or might she be there? What if she was? I had no idea who she was. I’d never seen her before, because I’d have fucking remembered her. She seemed at home here though, so she’d clearly been here at some point, probably while I was away.
A chilling thought hit me then. What if she was already with someone else? One of my brothers? What if she was a brother’s girl, and I’d fucking forced herto kiss me? Was she really into it? Were her hands pulling me closer, or pulling at me to make me stop. Hell, I couldn’t even remember.
I practically ran past the bar, avoiding any chance of seeing or speaking to anyone, and headed straight for my bike. God, I’d missed the ride. I’d missed the freedom of a long damn ride. The surge of power, as I owned the fucking road.
I straddled the bike, and cursed, lurching up instantly. FUCK!
Cammy
He never returned tothe bar last night, and it was soul-crushing, because I needed another chance to see him, to get to speak to him, or more. I wanted more. I wanted to know what else a man with a tongue that skilled could do. We never figured out who he was, and we didn’t ask the few bikers who stayed and partied with us, because I hadn’t really seen enough of him to be able to describe him properly. The other thing was that he’d been drinking, and seconds after the kiss that rocked my world, he’d looked guilty and declared that he shouldn’t have done it. Apologised. Ran. He ran.
What if he was married or something, and just got caught up in the moment? If I asked about him, and they worked out who he was, someone would get hurt, other than me, and I didn’t want to be the reason for that. Hell no.
I went home horny and lonely, and I relived that kiss over and over, as I rode my fingers to a pathetic orgasm that left me feeling just as horny afterward.
I even dreamt about the bastard. That was how I’d decided to refer to him since I woke up this morning. The bastard. The bastard who rocked my damn world, and ran away, leaving me desperate for his attention. Always leave them wanting more? Well, go fuck yourself. That’s my mantra for today. Go fuck yourself, whoever the hell you are.
I checked the time before I went for a shower. I had enough time to freshen up and grab a couple of good coffees, before I headed to work.
We still weren’t open yet, but the sign would be finished off today, and we werealmost set up. Ice had set up an amazing website, utilising some tricks he knew to make our clinic pop up as often as possible for the right keywords. With any luck we’d have clients very soon. He’d also set up a system for me, with the booking program, and any other apps I’d need, as well as a direct link to see the feed from every camera in the place, and there were a lot. He’d clearly gone overboard to protect his woman, and why the hell couldn’t I find a man who cared that much about me?
I turned up with four nice coffees, lattes for Lissa and myself, and americanos for Has-Been and Rocket, having listened to their coffee requirements the day before.
