Page 71 of Stitch
She didn’t need me anymore. She didn’t need any of us, did she? She was safe now. There was nothing stopping her from going back to her old life, nothingstopping her from going back to whatever she had left after he’d decimated her life. Why the fuck didn’t I see this coming?
I used the bathroom, brushing my teeth and staring at my stupid face in the mirror. What the hell had I done? Dumb fuck, that’s me. I just took away the only reason she had for being here with me.
I desperately wanted to shower and put on clean clothes, but I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to find her. I had to confront her, and try to find a way to stop her leaving me. Even if I had only months left, I wanted every minute to be spent with her.
I pulled the camper’s door open and as I did, I caught sight of her. She was across the car park, and talking to someone.Ice. She was talking to Ice? What the fuck. I watched them closely, pushing the door closed again, to watch through the window, so they wouldn’t spot me.
Was he touching her? Was she hitting on him? Was there something there that I hadn’t seen?
Ice lifted his hands and looked like he snapped at her. The fuck? My hand grabbed the door handle, even as I realised I couldn’t go out there, because I had to see what happened next. Was it a lover’s spat?
Ice ran his hands over his buzz cut head, and then he was shaking his head, definitely arguing with her. What the hell did they have to argue about? I thought they barely knew each other.
Camille folded her arms, her head lowered, and then he touched her.He fucking touched her.I couldn’t take it anymore. The door was open and I was striding across the car park, heading for the asshole touching my wife. He caught sight of me just as I dragged his arm away from her, and shoved him back.
“The fuck are you doing? You touching my fucking wife, brother?”
Ice held his hands up, but he looked the kind of pissed off I hadn’t seen since he was on the coke. I hoped to god that he wasn’t using that shit again, not now he had a fucking live-in therapist.
“You fucking talk to her. In fact, you know what? I am absolutely not getting fucking involved in this. You want to know stuff, you fucking talk to him, yeah?” Ice edged past me and stalked over to his cabin, slamming the door behind him.
I turned to look at Camille, and my heart stuttered in my chest. She was in tears. Why the hell was she crying? What did he fucking do to her? I grabbed her shoulders, tryingmy best to be gentle.
“Babe, did he hurt you? Did Ice do something to you?”
She shook her head, keeping her eyes down, and let out one of those shuddery gasps that told me the tears hadn’t just started. No wonder Ice was freaking. I looped my arm around her and started walking her back to the camper, but she pulled back.
“I can’t, Stitch. I can’t… I can’t do this. I… it’s breaking my heart, do you see that?” I backed up a step, feeling my heart stutter in my chest. She didn’t want me, that was what it was about.
“You can’t… I knew it. I fucking knew it. I tried telling myself that it wasn’t what was happening, but I’m an idiot, aren’t I?”Jesus. She’d probably been begging Ice to get her away from me, to get her out of town, and back to her fucking old life.
I could feel the rage inside me, the pure desperate anger at losing everything I thought I’d finally fucking found, and yet… the overwhelming emotion, drowning out the anger, was sorrow. Devastation. Her heart was breaking? Join the fucking club.
I turned and strode back to the camper, fighting the urge to run, to get away from her before the rage won out, and I did something I could never take back. Before I screamed at her for giving me so much hope, just to tear it away from me. Before I dragged her with me, and kept her, even though what she wanted was away from me.
Before I knew what I was doing, I was in the driving seat, pulling out of the car park, in that stupid cumbersome fucking camper truck. I had no idea where I was going, but ‘away’ was all I could think of right now. Away. Away from all of them, specifically away from her.
I needed just as much distance from the club who’d let me walk into this stupidity with my fucking eyes shut. Maybe it was just that they figured I’d be dead soon anyway, so why bother stopping me from making a complete fool of myself. Giving my heart at last, trusting someone at last, and learning the hard way that nothing was real, or even going to last the small amount of time I had left.
Maybe it was even time to take control of that aspect of my life. Maybe waiting for death to come for me at an excruciatingly slow pace was the wrong move. I could make it happen in an instant, couldn’t I?
Cammy
I’d tried running afterthe camper, but Stitch was gone before I could even catch up to the door. Where was he going? What the hell was he yelling about? But he didn’t yell, did he? Even though he sounded like he was losing his mind, like his heart was literally breaking in that moment, he still tempered himself. He still held back the fury, and kept his voice low enough so he wouldn’t scare me.
My god. He was the best man I’d ever known. To fight to control his anger that way, when he clearly thought something weird was going on, was everything to me. He’d saved me in so many ways, and now he’d just run away and I had no idea why.
I ran back to Ice’s door and pounded my fist against it. Ice wrenched the door open, a snarl on his face as he prepared to yell, and then he saw it was me. His eyes tracked the car park around me, and instantly alighted on the empty space where the mobile home should have been.
“Fuck. Get in here with Lissa, and I’ll get the Pres.”
I was grateful for his ability to read the situation in an instant, and save me from having to try and explain.
“Babe, come and sit down.” Lissa guided me onto the sofa, and sat with me, stroking my hair back.
“What happened?”
“Hold that thought. Tell us all at once.”
