Page 20 of Has-Been
“To resist me? Maybe you’re not supposed to resist me, Has-Been. Maybe you’re supposed to be with me, did you ever think of that?”
A door slammed out in the hallway and we both glanced in the direction of the door, like we thought someone would walk in, even though the door was locked, and it was unlikely they were anything to do with us.
“That’s why this can’t happen, Elise. We’re in the fucking clubhouse. A building filled with bikers, my brothers, and your brother.My fucking VP. One of only two guys who can take all of this from me. This is all I have. This club is my home. Do you realise what I’m risking, every time I give in to what I fucking want?”
His home. All he has. Maybe I was being selfish for trying to push him into being with me, because he could literally lose everything.
“I get it, I’m sorry. I won’t keep trying to encourage you into something you’re uncomfortable with. Not with what’s at stake for you.” I headed for the door, because someone had to arrange a replacement, and he clearly wasn’t, while he stood in the room with me.
He caught my arm as I reached the door.
“Don’t do that. It’s not about me not being comfortable, it’s about both of us risking a hell of a lot to be together. Jesus… I don’t really have a lot to offer you, Elise. I’m not a guy who could possibly deserve a woman like you, and I can’t provide for you like you deserve. I… I live in a fucking clubhouse, babe. I’m like an overgrown teenager-”
“Like me. See, I didn’t get to grow up, because my brother made sure nobody could help me become a woman. I’m not a woman, Has-Been, because I’m so untouched, and unwanted. Do you have any idea what it’s like to be twenty-one and still have a fucking hymen?”
His face reddened and he let go of my arm.
“Jesus, Elise. Don’t say shit like that to me. Please don’t fucking say shit like that.”
Thirteen
Shewasredinthe face and trembling, and my resolve was dissipating faster than I ever thought possible. I know so many men would love to be in my position, and not just because she’s a fucking virgin, but because she’s fucking perfection.
She’s smart, and brave, and sassy. She fights back at every step, because she’s unwilling to accept rules being enforced on her when they shouldn’t be. She’s right, too. She hadn’t been given the chance to grow up properly, because by now she should have experienced so much more of life. Of pleasure. Of love.
“Sometimes I touch myself at night, and I wonder if I should just get rid of it myself, you know?”What the fuck?
Tears were rolling down her cheeks, as she bared her soul to me, and laid out everything she’d probably never thought she’d say to anyone.
“Elise-”
“Like if I never get to experience it the right way, then at least I’d rid myself of the burden of it. It’s like this part of me that holds me back, because even if my brother didn’t metaphorically piss around me to mark his territory, I’d never have the courage to go on dates, and risk a man taking my virginity… because to do that, I’d have to admit to it. I’d have to tell them that I’m so pathetic that I’m still intact down there. And even if I tried to hide it, they’d know. The second they couldn’t get inside me without breaking through it, they’d know. It’s like the ultimate humiliation, and the world’s worst catch twenty-two. I’m in limbo, and I have no way out.”
I hoped she couldn’t see the way my dick was trying to perform a one man show ofThe Great Escaperight now, because her words were eating away at me. Every word made me even more desperate to lay her out naked for my touch, to pleasure her, and taste her.
I wanted to be the one to break through that barrier causing her so much distress, because I could do it in a way that wouldn’t hurt her, couldn’t I? Didn’t I know enough about fucking by now to know how to be gentle enough to not hurt her? Couldn’t I give her enough fucking mindblowing pleasure that she’d feel that breach of her threshold as more blissful than brutal?
“Help me, Has-Been, please. Don’t you think I’ll be able to handle being harassed by some sicko a lot better if I’m not just some vulnerable virgin? Experience will give me strength, and stop even those words being terrifying to me.”
I backed her up, and caged her in with my arms, pressing my forearms against the wall so she was pressed against almost every part of me.
“You have no fucking idea how badly I want to give you everything you just asked for. How it’s killing me to not already be inside you, but Elise… I need to know that it’s not just because you need it gone. I need to know that it’s because it’s me. I can’t just be the toy you slide inside yourself and fuck your hymen away with. I need to be the man you desperately want to have that first experience with, because I mean more to you than an object. I could make this so fucking good for you… I’d give you a first time you’d want to treasure, instead of forget, but I can’t if I’m just a tool to you.”
Elise
Washesoobtusethat he didn’t know how I felt? Was he so clueless that he imagined all I wanted was a blunt object to force inside me? I could have done that at any time with a sex toy, but I wanted it to be special, and with him it would be. With him it would be everything a girl could want.
“Please, Has-Been. It has to be you. It can only be you. I think about you all the time, even when I’m touching myself at night.” He let out a low growl and pressed his forehead against mine, his warm breath teasing my skin.
“I want your hands to be the first to touch me. Your lips to be the first to explore me. Your cock to be the only one I’ll ever have inside me.”
He slammed a fist against the wall, and let out a tortured groan.
“Fucking hell… you were sent to try me. A man only has so much fucking strength. Babe, if we do this, we can’t do it here. I can’t put my focus on your pleasure, when I’m waiting for some bastard to interrupt us. It needs to be right, and special, and perfect. We need to be somewhere else. Alone.”
I rested my hands against his chest, and felt a ripple of something run through him at my touch. I slid my hands lower, and his hips twitched at me. His breathing was speeding up, and it made me feel strangely powerful. My touch could make him come undone, but all I wanted was his touch.
“If we do that, Has-Been, you can’t make me wait too long. I’m desperate for you, can you tell?”
