Page 2 of Has-Been
“Slow breaths, that’s it… you’ll get your balance back in a mo.”
I couldn’t look away from his eyes, at least until his lips moved and he moistened them with the most enticing flick of his tongue.
“I thought I was falling for you,” I muttered softly, and he grinned slowly, leaning closer, with his arm bracing him against the wall.
“You don’t wanna fall for a guy like me, darlin’. Someone as sweet as you is destined for some good guy somewhere, probably drives some high end motor, and wears a suit.” He looked pissed as he said it, like he hated people in suits or something.
“A good guy?”
“They’re not all good though, darlin’. You gotta follow your instincts with them, and always, always watch for red flags, yeah?” He stroked my hair back again, tucking it behind my ear, his fingers lingering on my cheek.
I felt like he was going to kiss me, and I wanted it. I wanted it so much. My first real kiss. Not some lame attempt at one from a kid my own age back in school, but a real kiss from a real man. My body felt like it was buzzing, like I was tingling from the inside out. Just his proximity was making me swoon like some old time woman in a too-tight corset.
“You’re a good guy.”
His eyes shifted away from mine, and he backed up, putting too much distance between us before he spoke again.
“Sorry to disappoint you, darlin’. I’m as fucked up as they get, and not safe for the likes of you. You should get back inside, go check on your brother or something. I need to get spraying, and you shouldn’t be near the fumes.” His harsh tone didn’t match the look in his eyes.
Maybe it was time for me to stop reading romance books, and accept the fact that sometimes men were just conflicted, and it didn’t mean love or passion or even lust. It just meant disinterest or ambivalence. Why would a man like him be interested in a pathetic woman-child like me?
My legs were still shaking when I walked away from him, but I felt like his eyes were on me the whole time, and later when I thought back on those moments with him, I was mortified, because I came across as the kind of woman who practically faints over the man of her dreams, and I never thought I was that person until right then. Was it any wonder he wanted to send me away from him?
Two
Itwaslightbythe time I returned to the clubhouse, and I was feeling the buzz from being out on the road, and soaking in the quiet and freedom of the early hours of the morning. The worst thing about the roads at any other time? Other people. Other vehicles. Anything that got in the way of me and the road.
I parked up, and sat on the bike a moment longer, savouring the last tingles of vibration from the engine and the road.
A quick glance around the yard told me that nobody else was out and about yet, but they were probably up and awake indoors. As I glanced up at the windows, I caught movement in the window on the first floor. Fuck me. She was right there, coffee in hand, and a look on her face that said she knew I’d spotted her.
I wanted to do so much more than just look at her. I wanted to storm right up to that room, and lock the door behind me, so I could show her so much pleasure she’d have to bite the pillow to keep from screaming. I wanted to feel her coming on my fingers, and my tongue, and my cock. I wanted to taste and tease every fucking inch of her, and wrap that gorgeous hair around my fist as I-
“Hey, brother, you’re up early.” I was shocked out of my x-rated fantasies by the last person I wanted to see right now. Her fucking brother.
“Hey. Yeah, couldn’t sleep so I took a ride.” I couldn’t get off the fucking bike yet, or he might see the semi I was trying to hide as I leaned forward and rested my elbows on the handlebars.
“I can’t wait to ride again. I think I’m nearly healed… I wanna get Camille on the back of the bike, and take her somewhere, you know? Show her one of the perks of being a biker’s old lady.”
Jammy bastard, rubbing it in my face that he’s got the woman he wanted, because I can’t have mine. I took a deep breath and pretended to check the side of the bike, as I waited for my expected calm to return. Sometimes it did and sometimes I had to fake that shit, especially lately, especially with him.
“Hey, we’re okay, right?”
I sat back up and frowned at my VP, who actually looked worried as he waited for my response.
“Uh… why wouldn’t we be?” Did he know I harboured so much anger at him for keeping Elise from me? If he knew that though, he’d already be beating the crap out of me, right?
He folded his arms as he leaned back against his own bike, but I didn’t miss the way his gaze went where mine had been. He was looking at her right now, because of course he was fucking allowed to.
“Brother, we both know that I said some shit I didn’t mean, and I can’t apologise enough for that. Of course I know you’d never hurt a woman, especially someone so sweet, like Chrissy. We will find her killer though, and you can get your revenge on the fucker.” Chrissy. I kept trying not to think about her, because it fucking hurt.
She was a club girl up until a few months ago, and she generally only spent time with me or Ryder, up until he found his old lady. She was too good for all of us, and now she was dead, because some fucker thought it was his right to hurt her, to rape her, and kill her.
Truthfully, it had been like a knife to my heart when Stitch accused me of being involved, and I didn’t think that’d ever go away. The idea that anyone could think that of me, but least of all my club brothers, and least of all him. He and Reacher knew me, didn’t they?
“Can we just not talk about that? I have enough shit in my head right now, and I don’t need to add your fucking accusations to the list.”
He straightened up, looking like I’d just slapped him.
