Page 50 of Has-Been
He opened his mouth, and I had to break the momentary peace between us.
“Don’t say Has-Been. The only thing he did was fall in love, Seth. Should he really be punished for that?”
Seth groaned, rolling his head back on the sofa.
“Jesus, sweets, this is the last thing I wanted for you. A man like me. A waster. Someone with no fucking hope, no future. You’re gonna be a lawyer. You’re gonna be something, and he… he’s just gonna drag you down.”
I sat beside him, bumping my shoulder against his.
“Tell me something.”
“Go on.”
“You liked him before now, right? He was a brother, a trusted family member, someone you could rely on. Someone you knew, without a doubt, was a definite good guy?”
Seth cursed. “I know where you’re going with this, Elise.”
I nudged his shoulder again.
“So you don’t want someone for me who you love and trust, who you relied on for years? Someone you know is good? Someone who has protected me, and put himself between me and any threat he perceived? Someone who treats me with love and respect? Someone who shows me a gentle side beyond what we can see? Someone who I can trust completely with my safety? And my body?”
Seth slammed his drink down and rubbed at his eyes, leaving his palms over them.
“Please, for god’s sake, don’t tell me about you two in bed. I’m on the verge of losing my mind as it is.”
“Seth, look at me.”
He let out a huffy sigh, and rubbed his eyes again.
“I… I’m not sure that’s a good idea right now, sweets. I’m so fucking angry, and bitter, and I know I shouldn’t blame you, because he’s Has, and he’s fairly good looking, and kinda good with women. He’s been with a lot of fucking women, and he’s as deviant as the others here.”
“I’ve seen, Seth. You know, I used to look him up specifically on the porn sites? Once I knew he was on there.”
“Ugh, for fuck’s sake, don’t talk to me about this.” It might have been funny if not for the fact that so much was hanging in the balance right now.
“You can’t make me feel differently about him, Seth. I love him. I’ve loved him for a while now, and I won’t let you keep us apart. He’s still the same man you’ve known for years. Don’t see him as a monster just because he loves me.”
Seth looked a little sad as he stared back at me, like I was his naïve baby sister, and about to have my heart broken.
“The one thing you can be sure about, sweets, is that men will say anything to get a girl into bed. He’s not the monogamous type, it’s not really the biker way.”
Thirty-Two
Ithinkwhatpissedmeoff the most was being disturbed with Elise, when she was still resting after her first fucking time. She lost her virginity, and then I was dragged away from her, and couldn’t even make sure she was okay. I’d been gentle, uncharacteristically so, but still… I wanted to be there with her. Why the fuck did the shit have to hit the fan tonight?
“You fucking listening?” I rolled my eyes, and leaned closer to the screen, where Ice was showing me all kinds of shit I could barely focus on.
“What are we looking at again?”
He cursed and slammed a fist against the desk.
“Fuck’s sake! I’ve already told you all this. Do I really look like I like repeating myself?”
I sat back and ran a hand over my dreads, eyeing Ice’s buzz cut. I was starting to wonder if I wanted to lose the dreads and start from scratch. The thought of Elise gripping my hair as I tongue fucked her was sticking with me. She couldn’t pull on these damn things, but was I really that attached to them anymore?
“Jesus fucking Christ! If you’re just gonna sit there ignoring me, fuck off and bother someone else.”
Ice was clearly a man on the edge, and I forced myself to focus on him.
