Page 84 of Has-Been
“Thanks, Pres. You gonna leave someone on watch?” He nodded, pointing to Ryder and Micro, who’d clearly appeared quietly behind me while I was distracted.
“They wanted to help, and I feel better knowing you’ve got trusted brothers outside.” I relaxed a little, knowing they’d keep us safe, keephersafe.
“Thanks, guys.” I stepped inside and kicked the door closed, balancing Elise on my knee so I could lock all of the locks. I might have had two friends outside, but I sure as hell wasn’t taking an ounce of risk with my girl now or ever again.
Fifty-Two
Idon’tknowhowmuchtime passed, but I realised everything was quiet, and finally lifted my head away from Has’ chest. It had been the only way I could cope with everything; filling my senses with his warmth, and his scent, instead of what I knew was all over me.
“Babe, shall we get you showered and clean? Then I can tuck you into bed, and bring you something to eat.” My stomach growled as he spoke, but we both knew I had to be clean first. That we had to remove what that monster had left with me, all over me.
Has stood up, because he’d been sitting on the sofa, and I hadn’t even realised we’d moved until now.
“Babe, I’m gonna get in with you, but don’t worry. I’m not gonna try anything, I just want to help you get clean, and… Jesus… I just don’t want to be away from you right now.”
“Don’t leave me.”
Has sighed as he reached the bathroom, and guided me down to sit on the closed toilet seat.
“Never fucking leaving your side again. You get that? You’ll never be alone again, or at risk, I promise. And I realise this isn’t the first time I’ve promised you that you’ll be safe, but now I understand the lengths this fucker will go to.”
I pushed Has away from me, pulling at my bra, and quickly tossing it across the floor, never wanting to see it again. Then I struggled out of my dusty, grubby knickers and tossed them too.
“Aw babe. It’s okay, you’re safe now.” Has wiped my cheeks, brushing away tears I didn’t realise were falling. I hated myself for being this weak, for being such a mess after what was really not the horrific ordeal it could have been. Other women went through worse and survived it. Why couldn’t I cope with this?
“Babe, let’s get you into the shower, so you can warm up and stop shivering like that.” It wasn’t the cold, but he knew that. He was just trying to help any way he could.
The water was already running, so I took his hand and he helped me into the shower cubicle, and I stepped under the lovely hot running water instantly, letting it start the job of purging me of that monster’s touch, and his bodily fluids.
A few moments later, Has stepped into the shower with me. He wore a pair of boxers but nothing else, and he immediately reached for the shampoo, but I’d finally realised what was wrong. He’d removed that beanie hat he was wearing and… he hadno hair…
“Oh my god! What happened to your hair, Has? I…”
He looked downcast, but forced a little smile.
“Long story, babe. Don’t worry, I didn’t lose my strength with it.” They always joke about that old Bible story in situations like this, don’t they?
“Let’s get you clean. I wanna start with your hair.” I nodded, and turned to let him shampoo my hair, because we both knew that was the priority. He massaged my scalp with his fingers, as I leaned back against him with a sigh. I never thought I’d be back here with Has. I never thought I’d get away from that bastard, and that horrible place he kept me in. I never thought I’d feel anything good again.
“Babe? You’re shaking again.” Has finished rinsing my hair and wrapped his arms around me from behind, surrounding me with warmth and safety. After what I’d been through, he might have expected me to shy away from being touched, but I needed the opposite.
I needed him to hold me, and I needed him to replace every touch from that monster with his own. Thank god I got away before he did worse to me, but I was pretty sure I’d never let myself be in a room without Has-Been ever again.
Has-Been
ShekepttremblingandI couldn’t make it stop. Eventually I figured it was best to get her out of the shower and wrapped up in the bed, so I helped her wash, and then I wrapped her in a big towel and dried her off. I didn’t bother with myself, because this was all about her.
She wrapped a towel around her head, and then I helped her sit up in bed, and wrapped another blanket around her shoulders.
Next I brought her a cup of tea, and the warmed up plate of food from Ally. It was lasagne, and smelled amazing, but first I wanted my girl all settled and with everything she needed. I brought her water next and then painkillers. I had no clue what I was doing, but I’d do anything to see her smile again, and feel at peace again.
“Has, please get your food and join me. I’m okay.” I was unconvinced, but grabbed my plate and joined her, sitting as close as she’d let me, which was pretty fucking close, and started to eat.
The food was good, but the fact that my lady was beside me was the only thing that mattered.
“Tell me what happened to your hair, Has. I almost didn’t recognise you today.”
Tell me about it. Every time I looked in the mirror, a stranger was looking back at me, not to mention the fact that my fucking head was cold all the time. I’d have to invest in a whole set of beanie hats to tide me over until I had hair again.
