Page 48 of Torch
Jesus. How was I supposed to tell her that I wasn’t even half ready yet? Something about this whole moment was making me feel sick, like somehow I was adding to her ordeal, rather than helping her heal from it.
“Torch, look at me.” I wasn’t looking at her? I lifted my eyes again, and saw the sadness on her face.
“I’m sorry, I’m pushing you into something you’re not comfortable with, aren’t I?” I’m that much of a pussy that I want to agree with her, but I don’t need to say a word, because she sees it already.
“Babe, I’m-”
“No, I’m being unfair to you. We can just get some sleep. It’s okay.” Her bottom lip trembled as she spoke, and I wanted to scream, because I was failing her, wasn’t I? Not giving her what she needs. She asked for one fucking thing from me, and I can’t bring myself to give it to her?
I let my anger fill me for a moment, letting out a frustrated growl, as I grabbed her and rolled her onto her front, covering her with my weight as I sank my teeth into her shoulder, and heard her whine with need.
Fuck this. My woman wants to get fucked, she’s getting fucked. My dick was suddenly on board, so I pushed her legs apart, not that they needed much encouragement, and rammed my cock deep inside her. She was wet as hell, and didn’t that tell me what she’d tried to verbalise?
She needed this. I fisted her hair, pinning the side of her face to the pillows as I fucked her hard and fast, doing my best to give her what she needed, even though it still felt wrong to do it. The other times when we’d played like this, I’d known she was going into it with a clear mind, and clear consent, but this time I only had one of the two, and it felt abusive rather than hot.
“More, Torch, please!”
I growled, and wrapped my free hand around her mouth, silencing her, even though her words were a reminder that she still wanted this. I rammed deep over and over, leaning my lips close to her ear, to whisper words that bit chunks out of me.
“Take it, you fucking whore. Take my dick, because that’s all you’re good for. You’re just a fucking dumpster for my cum.”Jesus, kill me now. It should be killing my boner, but instead, I came hard, and pumped her full of said cum, while she moaned softly. I pulled out, rolled her over and slapped her clit several times before I thumbed it roughly until she arched, gasping out my name as she came. Tears followed her orgasm, and not just from her.
Grace
Ishouldneverhavepushed him into it, and even though I felt like I’d experienced some kind of catharsis with my orgasm, and it let out the emotions I’d been hanging onto, I could see it had hurt Torch to do it, even though I’d wanted it. We barely slept all night, and even though he held me the whole time, I felt like we were laying a few feet away from each other.
In the morning, I reached out to Lissa, and made an appointment for later in the day, which was originally going to be at the clubhouse, in her and Ice’s room, or something, but at the last minute, she realised she’d left something at the office, so had Ice drop her off and lock her in there, until my appointment.
It made sense to do it there, where nobody could listen in, and we could relax. I had no idea this would lead to catastrophic circumstances, or bring everything to a head, and if I could have changed things, I would have, but it was too late.
Torch had meetings with Stitch, and the others I’d confirmed definitely weren’t my attacker, and even though it had occurred to me that walking through the clubhouse might just show me my attacker, because of his build, Torch had asked me to stay locked away until one of the trusted few could escort me to the therapy office. I had to fend for myself after breakfast and throughout lunch, because it seemed that Torch was deliberately staying away from me. Maybe he needed a session with Lissa too. Hell, maybe he was having a session with her, and didn’t want me to know.
I felt so much guilt for last night, but I couldn’t even apologise, because he was hiding from me. I sent him a message about it, and all I got back was a ‘nothing to apologise for’ kind of message.
When the time came to go to my appointment, a knock on the door revealed the guy in the beanie hat, who reminded me his name was ‘Has-Been’. His build was nothing like the attacker’s, and he had the sweetest manner, and made me feel at ease, as he had the day I chatted to him in the hospital. It had taken until now, for me to remember I’d spoken to him there before. So much had happened in such a short time, and we hadn’t even addressed the fact that I was scheduled on shift all day tomorrow. That could be a discussion for later, if Torch ever stopped hiding from me.
As we walked to the gates, I figured I’d just ask about him.
“Is Torch okay?”
Has-Been smiled at me, as he waved to the young guys at the gate.
“Yeah, he’s just still freaked out about last night, I think.” My god. He told him about that?
“He told you? I didn’t mean to push him into that, but it was what I needed and I was… I was selfish, I guess.”
Has-Been paused, turning to look at me, a few metres from the gate.
“Uh… I meant what happened to you last night. What the hell are you talking about?” Oh shit. How mortifying. I waved a hand at him, starting to walk again, because if he didn’t know, I sure as hell wasn’t going to be the one to say it.
“Okay, I get it. Private stuff, but somehow you thought he told me? Torch is like a fucking vault when it comes to secrets, Grace. Whatever it is, he won’t tell.”
Thank god for that. We waited while the heavy metal gates were pulled back so we could walk through. It would really be easier if they had a smaller door or gate for foot traffic, but who was I to judge. Was I dwelling on useless stuff to keep from talking about something personal with this virtual stranger? Yeah, of course.
“Thanks. I guess I can talk about it all with Lissa, right?”
Has nodded, leading me to the door of the therapy office, casting his eyes around us as he walked, and peering inside before he unlocked the door with the key Ice must have given him.
“Lissa’s waiting in her office, we confirmed that by text before I met up with you.” That explained why he let me inside and locked up behind me, immediately heading back across the road, and away from me. It was unnerving being locked in the silent building all alone. But I wasn’t alone, was I? And wait...
