Page 66 of Torch
“No idea, man, I’ve literally just come on watch. Reacher was apparently around, but I can’t see him anywhere either.”
Huh. Reacher was supposed to be here and wasn’t, but was I lucky enough that he’d stopped my woman from running, before I could fix what I’d fucked up?
“Hey, man, before you go, can you grab me a beer? Kinda need to stay hydrated, while I keep watch over that fuckhead.”
I headed for the bar, then turned and stuck both middle fingers up at him in response, grinning as he cursed me, but I didn’t have time for his shit, because I had a sexy woman to find, and drag back up into my lair.
Grace
Reacherwasfarkinderand more supportive than I’d expected, only having met him briefly while his wife was in the hospital. He still looked absolutely drained and overwrought, but there was a kindness in his eyes that offered some comfort for my wounded heart.
“How did you know he pushed me away?”
He offered me a sad smile, turning in his seat beside me, so he could face me.
“I know everyone here, and I know how they operate. At least I thought I knew everyone here that well, but I guess I’m learning that some people have depths they’ll sink to, that I didn’t even know existed.”Micro. He had to be talking about him.
“I guess everyone’s struggling with Micro’s betrayal, huh?” Reacher rubbed a hand over his scruffy hair and sighed.
“We knew it was one of us, I mean, it was obvious, but while it was an unknown entity, I guess there was always this hope that we were wrong. Now we know it was him, it’s real. We really were betrayed by one of our own. We really did live with this man around us day and night, and secretly he was abusing our women, and attacking the club. I have no fucking idea how we’re supposed to rebuild after this, because it’s hitting so many of us so hard.”
This is why you can only be betrayed by someone you trust, because if not, you might expect it, or see it coming, but with someone you trust, and are close with, it’s like being blindsided.
“You know this is why Torch pushed you away, right? He’s struggling to deal with the fact that he was closest with him, and we might have to end him. He might be asked to.”
I sat up and frowned at Reacher, because surely he wasn’t implying that he intended to make Torch kill his closest friend. Please don’t do that to him.
“Wait-”
“You don’t need to ask that question, because of course we won’t fucking ask that of him, but it doesn’t stop it eating at him. Don’t let him throw away the one good thing he has in his life right now, doc. He’s better with you, and he knows it, so just don’t give up on him, yeah?”
Everyone kept saying that to me, but it was so hard to fight against someone literally telling you to get out and stay away. All I wanted was to stay with him, but not if he was so sure it wasn’t what he wanted. Consent went both ways, right?
“How do I have the courage to stay when he’s pushing me away so vehemently? Shouldn’t I respect his decision, and give him the space he’s demanding?”
Reacher grinned at me, suddenly looking ten years younger, even though it faded pretty quickly.
“Torch doesn’t need space, and even if he did, he wouldn’t know he needs it. He’s fixated on Micro, and the betrayal he feels, but he loves you, any idiot can see that. You’re the one person who can get under his skin, and force him to face this head on, and that’s why he’s trying to push you away, because he doesn’t want to face this. Facing it means facing up to a loss that he can’t even comprehend right now. Basically, he just doesn’t know what the hell he wants. Or needs.”
I still didn’t feel like any part of his explanation justified trying to push my way back in, when Torch was so firmly rejecting me, but the door crashed open just then, and Reacher cursed as he lurched up from his seat.
“Nobody fucking knocks anymore!”
“Grace, thank fuck! I thought I’d missed you.” I turned to see Torch in the doorway, and my heart leapt at the sight of him. Please be here to encourage me back. Please be here to tell me you still love me and want me.
“Babe, why are you here with the Pres? I thought you were leaving.”
Oh.
Thirty-Three
Reacherglaredatme,and grabbed my arm in an almost bruising grip, pointing to the chair he’d vacated.
“Sit down and shut the fuck up.”
I moved into the seat, even as I tried to figure out what to say to Grace, to try and make up for my hasty words, and to try and push that look from her face. She looked like I’d kicked her. Again.
“I-”
