Page 79 of Torch
“It is.”
I knew we’d discussed this before, and while I was open the idea, and really wanted to be with him, I hadn’t discussed the other fears I had, but was now really the time?
“Grace, last time I asked that question, you said no, so be really fucking sure, because I can’t be getting dicked around about something so important. I can’t have you running out on me the next time you get something crazy in your head, and won’t talk to me. I can’t… Jesus, I just can’t.”
Oh my poor sweet man, abandonment really was a big issue for him, and why wouldn’t it be?
“I promise, Torch. Look… I’m not proud of this, or anything else I admitted to tonight, but I’m not sure I’m comfortable with having a tattoo. That doesn’t mean that I don’t love you, or don’t want to commit to you. It’s… it’s something I never planned to do, and I’ve seen how nasty it can get when it goes wrong, and I just… you have no idea how terrifying it is to see the worst outcomes of things, and then consider doing them yourself.”
He chuckled, which turned into a laugh, then grew and ballooned into full on belly laughter. He was laughing at me for this?
“Torch!”
He held up a hand, trying to cut off his laughter, but finally gave in, and just kept laughing, and it’s true what they say about laughter being infectious, like so many other things. I found myself smiling, despite my consternation over him finding this particular thing funny at all, and from there I started to laugh with him.
I think we needed it. I think it purged the last of the awkwardness from us, and made it feel like it did before I messed everything up between us. It burned away the last of the hurt feelings, and made us feel like us again.
I turned in Torch’s lap to straddle him so I could look him in the eye, so relieved to see that familiar smirk on his face. He no longer looked so burdened by everything that had happened, and I was proud to be the one who made him look that way.
“I’m sorry for making you believe I don’t want you, or wouldn’t be in this with you completely and always. I have my issues as you know,” I gestured around the perfectly tidy room, “and I don’t always make the best decisions. You’re not one of the bad decisions though, Torch. You’re the best one I’ve ever made. I’m afraid of having a tattoo, and I should have just told you that. I called the police to try and put an end to the situation at the club, and keep you safe, and again, I should have just told you, and dealt with it like a grown up. Sometimes I don’t feel so adult, I’m afraid. Decisions are stressful, and knowing the right thing isn’t always that easy for me, not because I’m a bad person, but because I have no confidence in myself, and my wants or needs.”
Torch cupped his hands around my face and leaned closer.
“I like your wants and needs, babe, I just need you to be honest with me, and never run. If you’re not happy, you tell me. If you need something I’m not giving you, you tell me. If you need a break from me, or the club, just fucking tell me, okay? I’m not an asshole, but I can’t lose you, and if that means I have to work around issues you have, just like you work around mine, then that’s what I’ll do, and if you do run, I’ll hunt you down because you’re mine, and I can’t live without you. If any of that freaks you out, I’m sorry, but that’s me. Too many people have left me in my life, and you can’t be one of them. Wearing my ink ensures you won’t.”
Oh god.“You’re going to make me have the tattoo, aren’t you?”
He grinned widely.
“I want you to bear it for me, yeah, but I’ll make it worth it with so many fucking orgasms, that you’ll only ever see it as a positive thing. And you’re a doctor, so you know the best way to keep it safe until it heals, and I’m a tatted biker, so I do too. So I’ll ask again…” He cleared his throat, and the grin dropped from his face. “Are you my old lady?”
Everything else dropped from my mind, because only one thing mattered. Only one answer mattered, and we both knew it. I nodded, as I very solemnly said, “yes, Torch. I’m your old lady.” And then I threw myself at him.
Torch
Thankfuckshewasback in my arms, and this time she wasn’t getting away from me. I didn’t care what crazy shit she happened to get into her head next time. I’d fucking track her down anywhere, and bring her back to me. I’d allowed her this one fucking escape, but that was it, as far as I was concerned.
I pulled back from her kisses and took a breath, which I really fucking needed, because she hadn’t been taking time to breathe in between them.
“I want you upstairs right now, Grace. I really need to fuck all your holes, don’t ya think?”
Her eyes widened and she swallowed hard.
“Um… even the uh…”
“Come on now, doc. You know the words for all the parts. Which one am I planning on breaching tonight?” She visibly gulped, as she lowered her eyes.
“What if I can’t?”
I grinned at her, pressing my thumb over her lips to shut her up.
“Can’t or won’t, baby? Isn’t it up to me which holes I fuck? You’re just my fucking cumslut, right?”
She shuddered at my words, her eyes drifting closed, but I could see she was still conflicted.
“You scared I’ll hurt you, like, really hurt you, babe? Talk to me. Nothing happens unless you consent to it. If you want your ass to stay virgin and unloved, that’s okay. If you let me fuck it, you know I’ll go slow, and make it feel amazing, but I’ll be calling you my fucking whore the entire time, just like you want me to.”
Grace reached up, catching my hand and holding it, as she lifted her head up just enough to speak, but keep connected with me.
