Page 84 of Torch
“Babe, you’re not listening to me. Do I have to have my dick in your holes to get your attention, or what?” We were sitting in Torch’s room after his meeting with his brothers, and he’d been telling me something about a biker called Grease, and I’d been worrying instead.
“Rude, but I’m sorry, I was lost in thought. You were saying something about that Greasy guy?”
He burst out laughing. “Greasy guy, yeah, that’s him. Anyway, he’s mafia, and was on loan to us, so he’ll be going, which is a shame, but we don’t necessarily need him here now. Mind you, I think he’s been seduced by the biker life, even with the shit going on.”
“Mafia? Mafia is a real thing? I thought it was just in movies, dammit.”
“All real, well, probably not exactly like it is in movies. Tori’s the Don’s daughter.”
What?! How didn’t I know any of this? Oh right, because we’d barely had a chance for me to get to know anyone.
“Jesus, Grace. Is there something going on? You’ve never been so fucking distracted when you’re with me. What time’s your shift?” Oh god, my shift! I never used to be so out of touch with my routine and schedules. I checked my watch and sighed with relief.
“Three hours. So, what else happened that you can gossip about?”
He laughed, and dragged me into his lap on the small sofa.
“I’ve got better ideas for how to spend those three hours, babe.”
“Oh, you wanted me to meet Doc at last, right? We could do that?”
“Screw that. I wanna bury my dick in you, any hole, I’m easy, just want you.”
I stared down at my hands, suddenly feeling like doing that would be like betraying him all over again, because what I knew could affect him too.
“Grace, you’re starting to freak me out here. I just fucking asked for a vote to make you my old lady, but should I not have done that?” What? I wriggled around on his lap to face him.
“You did?! That’s amazing! Oh shit, this means you want me to have that damn tattoo.”
Torch cupped my face in his hands.
“That’s the first time you’ve looked me in the eye, since I came back up from Church. What’s going on, babe? And don’t tell me it’s nothing, because something’s definitely on that beautiful terrifying mind of yours.”
I wanted to tell him, I wanted to purge myself of this potentially damaging secret, but I had no idea how. What good would it do for him to know? What harm could it do if he found out?
“Grace, Jesus, woman, don’t make me fuck it out of you. Secrets destroy everything. Think about Micro and what he did. If he’d just come clean with one person, some people would still be alive right now. If he’d just fucking spoken to me, and trusted me, I could have helped him. I would have. He was like a fucking brother to me.”
He was saying all the things that made me think I should definitely tell him, but what about breaking Lissa’s confidence?
“I want to tell you something, but I can’t tell you. I’m sorry, it’s not my secret to tell, but it’s really bothering me that I have to keep this from you.” Oh now I’d done it, hadn’t I? Torch’s eyebrows shot up into, well, what would be his hairline if he still had hair.
“Babe? Please tell me this isn’t something fucking huge or damaging. We just got our shit sorted, and the club’s only just starting to rebuild. Micro’s gone, and even though we think he’s probably alive, we know he’ll stay away, at least until he’s healed, so we can move on with our lives. We need to fucking move on.”
I swallowed hard. “It’s about him, but I can’t… I… I’m making such a mess of this. I’m trying so hard to be a good friend, and someone this other person can trust, but the last thing I want to do is be lying to you, or keeping secrets from you. I absolutely agree about the harm they can do, but I feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place here.”
Torch stared silently at me for a long, agonising moment, finally releasing a sharp breath.
“Is it going to directly hurt the two of us?” Would it? I had no idea.
“I’m not sure… I don’t think so.” He rolled his eyes as someone banged on the door, and sighed.
“This place is like a fucking circus. Look, I’ll trust you for now that this is something you have to keep quiet, but the second you’re free to tell me, do it. Even if it’s just to fucking unburden you, so you don’t develop a crease right here from all this frowning.” He dragged a finger lightly across my forehead, and I pushed it away as the person banged on the door again.
Torch
Ihatedthatshewas keeping something from me, but right now, all I wanted to do was relax for a while, live without the threat of a knife in my back again, and just fucking be with her. If she was feeling that bad about not being able to tell me, well, let’s just say that was a comfort to me, because it meant she wasn’t likely to lie, or keep other shit from me, again.
I pulled my door open, and Ice stood there, with something clenched in his fist.
