Page 78 of Micro
I turned to glare at Ice, and he glared right back, just like I knew he would.
“Don’t hold back, fucker, say what you really think.”
He came at me, and Reacher and Stitch stopped us both, before it devolved into needless violence. Or maybe it was necessary violence. Maybe what we needed was to fight this shit out, so they could all fucking move on.
“Let him take his best shot,” I hissed at Stitch, who rolled his eyes.
“You don’t want anyone starting, because someone will finish it, fuckhead.”
“Has just took Elise away from the others, so should we grab our old ladies and fuck off?”
I turned to see Sophie looking at me, and I tried a smile, to see if she’d respond in kind, or if she’d reject me, but instead she beckoned me over to her.
“Wait…fuck no, he’s not going near our fucking old ladies!” Ice spat, trying to catch my arm, but this time he was the one stopped.
“We’ll be watching, brother. Let’s see how this plays out.” Yeah, for your fucking viewing pleasure, not like it’s my life or anything.
I headed over to Soph, crouching down beside her seat, and keeping my gaze only on her, on her teary eyes, resting my hands on her trembling fingers.
“Are you okay, babe? What can I do?”
A tear slid down her cheek, and I bit back a heavy sigh, reaching up to brush it away with my thumb. Her sorrow and pain was fucking destroying me. Was I just ruining her life now too, like I’d done to them? Was this my gift in life, to fucking break everyone around me?
“I understand, it’s okay. If you want to leave, I won’t make a scene.”
I wanted to. I wanted to scream and shout, and fucking carry her away somewhere and keep her, but if she was afraid of me, and wanted to be away from me, only a fucking monster would try and force otherwise. I might have been one once, but I knew I wasn’t that guy anymore. For her, I was different, like I’d fucking risen from the ashes of my own destruction, and don’t think the irony of that was lost on me.
“No.”
No what?I risked a glance around us, seeing sorrowful faces of the women around us, women I’d hurt. Women I’d terrorised, and threatened. I shouldn’t be looking at them at all, so I squeezed my eyes closed, and turned back to my woman.
“Tell me what I can do, babe.”
Soph sighed, a sound full of sorrow and pain.
“They’ve told me things, everything, I think.”
Jesus. What else could I say to that? The old me would have tried to cover for it, but honesty was what she deserved from me. Always.
“It’s all true, babe. Whatever they said, I did it. I’m sorry, but you know that. You know I’ve told you the same stuff. I was a cunt, a monster, I was cruel, and vicious, and wrong. That’s the most important part. I waswrong.”
“You think that makes up for everything?” Ally asked from behind me, and I shook my head, shifting on my feet, so I crouched beside Sophie, facing into the group.
“I know it doesn’t. Nothing can. I’m sorry. I can’t believe it now, when I look back at how hate-filled and fucked up I was. There’s no excuse, and there’s no fixing it, or making up for it. I know that, and I’m not trying to get anyone to change their mind about me. I can only say what’s in my heart now, and that’s that I wish I could. I wish I could go back and not do it all. I wish I could undo the hurt I caused all of you.”
Lissa was nodding, but the others remained stoic, and fuck me, if I thought my brothers were the tough audience, I’d underestimated their women.
“Elise wakes up screaming,” Cammy said quietly, and my gut clenched, as guilt damn near overwhelmed me.
“I wish I could do something about that. I wish I could fix it. I will never be able to, but I promise that side of me is gone, and Sophie will never ever need to fear me. I’ll spend the rest of my life proving that to you all.”
“It’ll never be enough,”Torch said from behind me, and I felt like he’d just given me my knife back, right through my heart. Of course I didn’t deserve forgiveness, from any of them, but especially not him.
I stood up, and a sudden cold, sharp pain in my back made me gasp as I turned to face him, his other brothers fanned out behind him, all grim and deadly looking. He revealed a short knife in his hand, the sharp tip red with my blood, a blade he’d just stuck in my back. I knew he’d gone easy on me, but he’d made his point nonetheless.
“Just so you know how it feels, cunt,” he said softly, tossing the short blade on the ground, as a panicked Sophie gasped behind me. I kept my focus on Torch though, not for my protection, but because he fucking deserved for me to look him in the eye right now, for me to give him what he needed to get his closure too.
“I couldn’t torture you, and that makes me weak, because you deserved it. You put a knife in my fucking back. You left me for dead.”
