Page 8 of Micro
In all honestly, the only ones I’d meant to punish were Reacher and Stitch, for murdering the only parent I had, but shit got out of hand, and yeah, I got carried away. Thank fuck I never took things further than I had. I’d killed people, and that shit was eating me up, and now she was telling me shit like she saw me as a good man, and it was killing me even more. I think the moment I accidentally killed the woman I thought I loved, was when I really fucking cracked, and lost that last little fragment of goodness I’d clung to as a kid.
Then…
Shewasreallywithme, kissing me, touching me, and it was all I’d wanted for more than a year. Chrissy, the woman who’d always been out of my reach.
“Micro, take me somewhere right now,” she’d demanded after that first kiss, and I’d gone with it. I’d led her out to my van, the one I kept down the road from the clubhouse for emergency use, and we’d headed into the woods, where we could be alone. Did it bother me that she wouldn’t be with me at the clubhouse, where anyone could see us? Yeah, of course, but for a chance to be with her, I’d bend to suit her, right?
“Pull over, Micro, I want to suck you.” No guy would say no to that, least of all me.
I parked up, and she started pulling at my pants.
“Whoa, babe, you want to let me get in the back first?”
She shook her head. “I want to blow you right here, Micro, show me that big dick you’re always bragging about.” Hell yeah, I made it known, because being stuck with a road name like ‘Micro’, there was always an assumption as to the meaning, and it wasn’t that at all. It wasn’t the time to dwell on that though, as Chrissy’s warm mouth closed around the head of my cock, and she started sucking on it like a lollipop. Jesus fuck, I never thought this would happen with her. It’d always been her for me, the one I couldn’t stop thinking about. We didn’t have many club girls at Phoenix, which apparently was down to the bad reputation my dad’s club had built, but she was the fucking hottest woman I’d ever met.
“Surprised you’re here with me, Chrissy. I always wanted to get some time with you,” I murmured, as I stroked her hair back from her face, and she lifted her head, releasing my cock with a wet popping sound.
“Well, Ryder and Has-Been aren’t really available anymore, so I had to find someone to keep me busy,” she said with a wink, and I fought the surge of anger those words brought, because why would she mention other guys while she’s holding my cock? Way to make a guy feel like he’s just being used, right?
I knew I wasn’t exactly the sweetest guy when it came to shagging women, but I was only ever in it for one night, so did it matter if they didn’t exactly want me for more than that?
“Jesus, babe, that mouth of yours,” I groaned, as Chrissy deepthroated me, and a tingle in my balls told me I was getting close already. I couldn’t be the brother who fucking came too fast with her, not if she was comparing me to those two fuckers.
“Babe, wait. I wanna fuck you.”
She shook her head, licking the length of my dick, as she met my eyes again.
“I’m not interested in you that way, Micro. This is just for fun.” Suddenly that urge to come was dissipating, because she didn’t want to fuck me? How could she just dismiss me, without even giving me a proper chance? I eased her head back, and started tucking my cock away, when the last thing I wanted was to miss out on coming down her throat, if that was the only way she’d take me.
“Oh come on, Micro, don’t be such a baby. I’m just saying, I’m out of here soon, so there’s no sense in getting attached, right?”
“So I’m such a lame ass motherfucker that, not only am I not as good as those two fucking pretty boys, but you think I’ll get pussywhipped too?”
Chrissy rolled her eyes, tossing that golden hair back over her shoulder.
“My god, if you’re going to be a bitch about it, Micro…” she sighed, and rested a hand on my knee, “I’m the one being a bitch, I’m sorry. I guess I’m hurt that they both found other women when they had me. I could have been their old lady, either one of them, but somehow I wasn’t good enough. I’m tired of not being good enough.”
I caught her chin with my fingers, and lifted, until she met my eyes again.
“You’re more than good enough, Chrissy. You’re fucking stunning, and I’ve been in love with you for fucking ever. Give me a chance, yeah? I’m not some poor second choice. I’m enough too.”
She sighed, chewing on her lip, and then she nodded, and I wasted no time. My lips were on hers before she could speak again, and hell yeah, I knew my dick had been in there, but it was her, and this was my chance.
She ended up in my lap, with my cock finally deep inside her, and it was everything I’d dreamed of, everything I’d imagined. She was so beautiful, so sexy, and her pussy felt like heaven. When I came inside her though, that’s when the shit hit the fan. I was kissing her, and riding that wave of pleasure, as my cum filled the woman I’d wanted for so long, and she started slapping at me.
“You fucking idiot! You came in me? I don’t want your cum in me!”
What the fuck? I had to defend myself, as she kept slapping at me, and calling me all kinds of things, telling me I was worthless, and stupid, and she didn’t want my filthy cum. That I was just a sad alternative to the decent guys she’d been with, and I wasn’t worth her time. That I was beneath her. It was only when she fell quiet, that I realised what I’d done. Those words, telling me I was worthless, that I was beneath her, they’d hit so deep, carving a hole in my chest, and rage had burned through the hurt, and the heartbreak, and suddenly she was silent, and sagging in my grip… my grip around her throat.
“Fuck! Chrissy? Chrissy, babe? Jesus, I’m sorry. Wake up, it’s okay. I’m so sorry,” I kept babbling, but she wouldn’t wake up. She had no pulse. I’d fucking killed her!
Thatnighthaddestroyedme. I must have sat there, with her cooling body laying on the seat beside me, for an hour or more, with tears pouring down my face, at the realisation that I’d destroyed her, the only woman I’d ever really wanted. I killed her. I killed Chrissy, and I couldn’t ever take that back, or make it right. The worst part, even worse than knowing I’d taken her from this world, and ended her dreams, whatever they might be, yeah, the worst part was realising I was more like my dad than I’d known.
Five
Aweekandahalf had passed since that conversation with Lowell, formerly Mike, and I felt like, in my attempt to grow closer to him, I’d forced a chasm to open between us with my words. I’d been honest, I’d spoken from my heart, I’d shown him that I could see the good person he is, and somehow, that had caused him to pull away from me.
He’d eaten meals with me, and been polite, and thanked me, but in some ways, as his physical body was healing, it seemed as if the opposite had become true with regard to his mental health. The nightmares were happening every night, and I was sent away each time I tried to ease his mind, and comfort him. It was like living with a stranger all of a sudden, and I hated it. Had the mere act of sharing his name led to this? Was he afraid I’d find something out that I shouldn’t? Was it just that he felt exposed by telling me that much about him? That one detail that hadn’t helped me find out anything more about him?
