Page 61 of Play Along With Me
"So sorry," Leila says, grabbing my shoulder.
I nod, swallowing my laughter. "Mr. Darcy with diabetes isnotfunny." Shit, I'm still laughing.
"Come on, Audrey," Patricia says. "Come to dinner with us. We need to know everything about you."
"Great," I say, glancing at Leila. "Okay. That sounds lovely," I hear myself say, ignoring Leila's wide-eyed stare of disbelief. I don't want to keep telling her no because I bet she'dup begging. "Leila can take care of Mr. Darcy, and I'd love to get to know Jake's parents better."
Patricia looks like she just won the lottery. "Wonderful! Oh, this is perfect. We have so much to talk about!"
Jake's expression is a fascinating mix of horror, gratitude, and confusion. "Are you sure?" he asks quietly. "Your cat has the whole regimen. You don't have to—"
"Leila can take care of the cat. I want to," I assure him, squeezing his hand in return. The fact that I've gone from shocked panic to active participation in this deception in less than five minutes is probably concerning, but there's something oddly liberating about the whole situation. Plus, the look on Jessica's face is worth whatever awkwardness follows.
"Well, that's settled then," Patricia says happily. "Jessica, you'll join us too, of course?"
"I wouldn't miss it," Jessica says, her smile tight but determined.
"Your friend must come as well," Patricia adds, eyes pointed at Leila.
Leila, bless her, shakes her head. "Thank you, but her diabetic cat will croak over and die if I don't get there soon. Rain check?"
"Of course, dear," Patricia blinks. "We'll have plenty of time for everyone to get better acquainted while we're in town."
"We should head to the restaurant," Robert suggests. "Our reservation is for nine-thirty."
"You two go ahead with Jessica," Jake says. "We'll meet you there. I need a minute with Audrey first."
His parents exchange a look that contains an entire conversation but eventually nod. "Don't be too long," Patricia says with a knowing smile that makes me blush despite myself.
"It was lovely meeting you," she adds, giving me another once-over that feels like I'm being evaluated for broodmare potential. "And Audrey, I'm so glad you're joining us tonight. I have so many baby stories about Jake to share!"
"Mom," Jake groans.
"Looking forward to it," I say with genuine enthusiasm. Baby stories are golden currency in any relationship, real or fake.
As his parents and Jessica walk away, Leila turns to us with raised eyebrows nearly reaching her hairline.
"What just happened?" she demands. "Because it looked like you two just entered into a relationship agreement faster than I sign up for streaming services."
"I am so, so sorry," Jake says immediately, releasing my hand and taking a step back. "I panicked. My mom has been trying to reconnect me with Jessica, and when she assumed you were my girlfriend, I just... went with it." He runs a hand through his hair. "I shouldn't have put you in that position."
"And I shouldn't have agreed to dinner," I acknowledge. "But honestly? The look on Jessica's face was priceless."
"You're not mad?" Jake asks, looking surprised.
"Oh, I'm shocked. I'm dead on the ground right now," I assure him. "But also, I've been on the other side of this exact scenario. Daniel."
Leila observes me. "Daniel."
"Who's Daniel?" Jake asks.
"Audrey's ex," Leila supplies helpfully. "The one who just got married to someone else. Audrey stalks their honeymoon photos on Instagram."
"I don't stalk," I protest. "I... maintain awareness."
Jake looks even more mortified now. "I'm making a mess of this, aren't I? I just wanted to say hi and thank you for coming to the game, and somehow we've ended up in the middle of a sitcom plot."
"Welcome to the Audrey Mazzone experience," I tell him. "Chaos follows me like a shadow."
