Page 7 of Play Along With Me
"Remember Coach Matthews?" I ask, pointing to our scowling coach in the photo.
"That psychopath?" Collin laughs. "How could I forget? 'If you've got enough breath to complain, you've got enough breath for another lap!'"
I find myself grinning despite my annoyance with him. "I still hear that in my nightmares."
"Speaking of nightmares," Collin says, "I hooked up with this girl last weekend who—"
A knock on the door interrupts whatever charming story he was about to share. Thank god for small mercies.
"That'll be Ryan and Mike," Collin says, getting up to answer it.
While he's at the door, I take the opportunity to scan his apartment. Nice place, way nicer than mine in Providence that I share with Vander, our backup goalie who thinks doing laundry once a month is a sign of being "too uptight" about cleanliness. My place has cinder block walls and mismatched furniture from Craigslist. Collin's looks like someone watched too much HGTV and had too much money.
Hockey hasn't exactly made me rich. Fifth-round draft picks who spend three years in the minors don't get the big contracts. I make enough to live on, but not enough to stop checking my bank account before ordering appetizers. One solid contract with an NHL team would change everything, which iswhy I'm here, trying to network with a guy I barely tolerated in college.
I hear Collin greeting his friends in the hallway, followed by something that makes him laugh. When he walks back in, he's grinning like he just pulled off the perfect prank.
"Where are your friends?" I ask, noticing he's alone.
"They're coming," he says, barely containing his laughter. "I told them I live in 4A."
It takes me a second. "You didn't."
"I did." He's practically bouncing on his toes. "Third time this month. It never gets old."
"You're a dick," I say, but I can't help but be a little impressed by his commitment to being annoying.
Through the wall, I can hear the distinct sound of knocking, followed by what sounds like Audrey's voice, though I can't make out the words. Collin creeps back to his door and cracks it open, gesturing for me to join him.
From our vantage point, we can see Ryan and Mike standing awkwardly at Audrey's door as she stares them down. She's still in her pajamas, but now there's a fluffy blanket wrapped around her shoulders like a cape, and her hair is somehow even more chaotic than before.
"Let me guess," she's saying, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Collin told you he lives here."
Ryan and Mike exchange confused glances.
"Uh, yeah," Mike says. "Is he not...?"
Audrey points dramatically at Collin's apartment. "4B. That's 4B. This is 4A. I am not Collin. I have never been Collin. Iwill never be Collin. Collin lives there, where the human-shaped waste of oxygen is currently hiding and laughing at you."
On cue, Collin laughs loudly enough for them to hear.
Audrey rolls her eyes so hard I'm worried they might get stuck. "Happens at least once a week. He thinks it's hilarious. The day he moves out will be the happiest day of my life."
Mike and Ryan look mortified, turning to see Collin and me watching from his doorway. Collin is practically doubled over laughing.
"Got 'em again, Auddie!" he calls out.
"Don't call me Auddie, you sentient jockstrap!" she yells back, then smiles sweetly at Ryan and Mike. "Welcome to the building. Sorry about... him." She gestures vaguely toward Collin before closing her door firmly.
Ryan and Mike trudge back to Collin's apartment, looking like they're reconsidering all their life choices.
"Dude," Ryan says to Collin as they walk in. "Not cool."
"Oh come on, it's just a joke," Collin says, still chuckling. "Audrey secretly loves it."
"She really doesn't," I interject, because it seems important to point out.
"Who's side are you on?" Collin asks, punching me lightly on the arm.
