Page 60 of Play Along With Me
I nearly give myself whiplash turning to look at him. His eyes meet mine with an intensity that clearly communicates:Please just go with this.
"Oh, I knew it!" Patricia claps her hands together in delight. "A mother always knows these things. Robert, look how adorable she is! So expressive and funny!"
I stand frozen, my brain desperately trying to catch up with whatever is happening. Jake's hand is still wrapped around mine, warm and steady despite the bizarre situation.
"She is indeed," Robert agrees with a kind smile. "You've always had good taste, son."
Patricia laughs. "Much more animated than–– I always thought you needed someone who could bring you out of your shell a bit, Jake."
Then a strikingly beautiful woman appears at Robert's side. She's elegant and poised in a way I could never hope to achieve, dressed in what I immediately recognize as expensive but understated clothing. Her dark hair falls in perfect waves around a face that belongs on a medical journal cover—symmetrical, flawless, intimidatingly intelligent.
"Hey, Jake," she says happily.
Patricia brightens even further. "Jessica! Perfect timing!"
Jake's hand tightens almost imperceptibly around mine. "Yeah, great," he manages, and I feel a pang of guilt. Who is this sexy woman?
"Oh, Jake, aren't you going to introduce everyone?" Patricia prompts when Jake remains frozen.
"Right," he says, visibly collecting himself. "Audrey, Leila, this is Jessica. Jessica, this is Audrey, my girlfriend, and her friend Leila."
The word 'girlfriend' sounds strange coming from his mouth, but he delivers it with convincing ease. I attempt to look like someone who is actually dating Jake and not a woman who is experiencing an out-of-body panic episode.
"Audrey," Jessica repeats, her gaze coolly assessing. Her eyes linger briefly on our clasped hands before returning to my face. "Jake mentioned you. Nice to meet you."
I blink in surprise. Is she me right now? Holy shit. I met Daniel's girlfriend just like this. Oh, no.
Jessica wears a smile that seems genuine despite the circumstances. She extends a perfectly manicured hand, which I shake while desperately hoping my palms aren't sweaty. "I'm a surgical resident at Mass General. Jake and I dated in college."
The casual way she mentions their past relationship while simultaneously dropping her prestigious job title is so smoothly done it takes me a moment to recognize the power move.
"Audrey's a writer," Jake says, his arm now around my shoulders in a protective gesture that feels both strange and oddly comfortable. "And a bartender at the Liberty. Makes the best Manhattan in Boston, according to Kevin Wooledge."
"Multi-talented," Jessica notes with a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes. "How interesting."
My brain is still trying to process exactly what's happening. Jake's parents. Jake's ex-girlfriend who looks like a medical textbook illustration of genetic perfection. All meeting Jake's... fake girlfriend? Woman who just got drafted into a rom-com plot without signing the consent forms? Where the fuck are my forms, Jake? He smiles down at me.
And suddenly, the absurdity of the situation hits me full force. I'm now on the opposite side of a scenario I've experienced before—being paraded in front of a new girlfriend as the ex-girlfriend, with an overeager mother orchestrating the whole thing. Except last time, it was Daniel's mother introducing me to his new girlfriend, making thinly veiled comparisons and not-so-subtle hints about her expectations.
The parallels are too bizarre to ignore. The universe, it seems, has a twisted sense of humor.
A laugh bubbles up from somewhere deep inside me—the kind of laugh that comes from a place of pure absurdist recognition. "I'm sorry," I manage between increasingly hysterical giggles. "It's just—this is so—"
"Audrey has a very developed sense of the absurd," Leila explains smoothly, putting a steadying hand on my arm. "One of her many charming qualities."
"It really is nice to meet you all," I say once I've composed myself. I catch Jake's eye and decide in that moment to fully commit to whatever this charade is. "Jake's told me so much about you." This is a blatant lie—he's mentioned his parents exactly once, in the context of them being overly enthusiastic about his NHL career.
Patricia beams. "All good things, I hope!"
"The best," I assure her. "Especially about how supportive you've both been of his career." I lean slightly into Jake's side in what I hope looks like an affectionate gesture rather than me needing physical support to maintain this fiction.
Jake looks simultaneously grateful and terrified.
"We were just heading to dinner," Robert says. "You two should join us! We have reservations at Sorellina."
"Actually, we have plans—" Leila begins, but I cut her off.
"Yeah, my cat has this thing…" I gulp, my eyes meeting Jake. "She has… diabetes." This is so fucked up because a laugh escapes my throat. I cover my mouth, trying to hide my laugh as if it's actually hide-able. My shoulders are shaking and I'm dying on the inside. Fuck the universe and its sick sense of humor. For a second, I look up at the sky because what the fuck is happening.
