Page 61 of Brooke's Bliss
Henry seemed to think about that.“Are you sure you’reseeing the real her?Because I assure you Brooke Harper has vaccinated somehorses in her time.She used to work the farm on her summers off and on theweekends.I know she worked the sheriff’s dispatch when she was younger andCallie needed time off.She’s also taken her turn on alien watches and workedmany festivals with me and Nell, selling organic cider and crafts.You thinkshe doesn’t fit in here?”
Shane shook his head.“No.I know everyone loves her.I justcan’t see her leaving the city.”
“You know I would have said the same thing about LoganGreen.I would have told you that kid was never getting further from Bliss thanAlamosa,” Henry admitted.“And I was wrong.The world is bigger and smallerthan we think it is.I’ve seen most of it.I’ve seen the good and the bad.Thebeautiful places of this earth and the war-torn ones.I lived in DC for a longtime.I don’t ever want to live anywhere but here.I’m glad my Nell doesn’twant to go anywhere else because this is my home.”
He had some questions since Henry seemed so open in themoment.“Is it true you worked for the Central Intelligence Agency?You don’thave to tell me.I can mind my own business.”
“I get the feeling you do that a lot, and what’s the fun inthat?One of the things I love about this place is how no one minds theirbusiness.”
Oh, he got a bad feeling that he’d opened a door better leftclosed.“I mean some people do.”
“Nah,” Henry said.“And yes, it’s true.In another life Iwas a man named John Bishop.I worked intelligence, and not in some ivorytower.I was an operative, and a deadly one.And then I found this place and Idiscovered another part of me.We don’t have to stay the people we are whenwe’re younger.We don’t have to be who they told us to be.In my case I didn’tstay who the Agency said I was.Cold.Unfeeling.Unable to care about realpeople because of abandonment issues.”
That cut close.“I get the feeling you’re trying to tell mesomething.You should be clear.I’m not real smart.”
Henry’s lips tugged up in a rueful grin.“Oh, there it is.You see, you are smart.You’re good at solving problems.You’re excellent at alot of things, but you downplay everything good about yourself.In anotherlife, I would have recruited you, Shane Kent.I would have taken you under myvery deadly wing and taught you how to play the game.”
Shane laughed at the thought.“I would be a terrible spy.”
“Not after I trained you,” Henry said in all seriousness.“I’ve noticed you’re organized and you see mechanical problems easily.You alsohide your need for praise.I would have become the father figure you sodesperately needed, and you would have found yourself in my debt and later inmy pocket.”
Okay, Henry was kind of scary.“I thought about going intothe military, but Bay didn’t want to.”
“Bay saved you,” Henry said quietly.“I assure you if you’dgone into the military, you would be on a Special Forces team very quickly, andthen someone like John Bishop would have come knocking on your door.All I’msaying is it’s become apparent to me that you’re hiding a lot out of fear.Youmight not even realize it’s fear.For you it seems like a logical thing to do,but I’ve learned when we close ourselves off to possibilities, it’s always fearthat drives us.Fear.Shame.It’s all the same.You’re looking at Brookethrough a pair of glasses someone else put on your face.Like I did once.I sawNell the way I’d been taught to see.With cynicism and a belief that all peopleare basically the same.It took falling for that magnificent woman to get me totake them off.It’s hard when you think it’s the only way youcansee.”
“You think I’m seeing Brooke wrong?”He knew the questionsounded simple, but he got the complexity Henry was talking about.He hid hisintelligence because anything he had when he was a child was something to betaken away.He qualified for AP classes and honor classes and his stepmotherdecided if he was so smart, he could get a part-time job that took up all histime to study.And then he had some money, so she made him pay rent.
That woman had fucked up his life.
“I think you’re protecting yourself and you think you mightbe protecting her.You’re wrong.Brooke is smart, and I believe she’s alreadyfiguring out that getting fired might have been a blessing in disguise.It’shard to let go of something you’ve told yourself you wanted all your life.It’sdamn near impossible to admit what you truly want is smaller and yet infinitelymore.That what you want isn’t a job or a level of financial security.Thatwhat you want is a feeling.”
To be loved and appreciated.To know the work he did servedthe people he loved, and he had an unassailable place among them.
Henry was right.He wasn’t fucking dumb.He’d been excellentat school, and when there was no more school and no way to go to college, he’dread.He’d taken shit from everyone for enjoying a book.Bay had too, though itnever seemed to bother him.There was a deep well of certainty in his brotherthat he didn’t possess.
Or was he wearing the wrong glasses?
“I can’t work at the G forever.Even if she stayed, shewould need more than I can provide,” he heard himself saying.
“But she doesn’t.”Henry put a hand on his shoulder.“Another thing you’ve had placed in your head.I know Brooke.She wants ateammate.Probably two, given how she grew up.She’s a unicorn, you know.”
He realized how often he played down his own intelligencesince his first instinct was to ask Henry what he meant.But he knew.“Becausewhere else would we find a woman we don’t have to convince that therelationship we want can work.She’s unique.”
“She is indeed.Stop coming up with all the reasons why youdon’t deserve this.Start enjoying what you have.You want to know what willkeep her by your side?Build something with her.Help her.Grow with her.Oryou can let the people who hurt you win.It’s as simple as that.Poppy,sweetie, I don’t think the goat wants you to ride him.”
But it kind of looked like the goat did.That goat wasbowing down and letting the girl climb all over it.It was weird, but theneverything about the Flanders family was weird.And true.
He watched Henry scoop up his daughter and wondered if hisstepmother’s cruelty would haunt him forever.
Wednesday
“But I already took the beet.”Bay had done adouble dose because apparently there was a certain part of the ranch thatattracted aliens, and he’d worked there for a couple of days.So Cassidy hadshown up with her monthly dose for all the ranch hands.
He’d had to brush hard so his teeth weren’t purple.
Brooke gave him a stare as she downed her own.“The worstthat can happen is you don’t get hypertension.You know beets are a superfood.”
“No, honey, the worst that can happen is one of the sporesthe Jelan males leave behind gets under his skin and worms it’s way to hislower intestine where it takes root and grows into a baby in roughly threemonths,” Cass pointed out.
