Page 75 of Brooke's Bliss
Brooke’s brother was going to truly understand how imperfecthe was for his sister.“I was five and so was Bay.Dad was doing well at thetime.I mean not well enough to pay child support or anything, but they had anice house and a treehouse in the backyard.Bay took me up there and told me wewere brothers and that it didn’t matter what his mother said, he was my bigbrother and he would take care of me.And he did.I spent that first night in asleeping bag in the treehouse, and then Dad got home and the pastor came andsuddenly I had a little space in Bay’s room.When he was old enough he told herhe would run away if I couldn’t do the things he could.”
A long moment passed before Max spoke again.“And how didyou adapt?”
Shane shrugged.He supposed he had in a lot of ways.Ways hewas trying to unlearn.“I learned to not like anything.Or at least to neverexpress I liked something.”
“Because she would take it away?”
“Yeah,” Shane admitted.“I know everyone says foster caresucks, but it was better for me than being home.It was hard for Bay, though.Despite everything he still had some love for our parents.His mom saw howtalented he was.She gave him everything he could want when it came to art.Shetried to make it so he didn’t have to do a thing but work on his portfolio.Shehad dreams of him going to art school in Paris.I don’t know that would everhave worked out, but one day he had a future and the next he didn’t.”
Max seemed to think about that.“You never had one so itdidn’t bother you.”
It was nothing less than the truth.“The group home feltlike freedom to me.”
Max’s head shook.“Was there any money?I know that’s astupid question.If there had been money, someone would have come forward andtaken you and Bay in.So she wanted Bay to go to art school but she didn’t saveany money?”
His stepmother had been a complex woman.“In her defensethere was never any real money.My father blew it the minute it was in hishands.She thought Bay’s talent would save her.”
“So you decided to rodeo and make some money that way,” Maxsurmised.“Let me guess—you got tired of making the money and then it all goingto pay for your next broken bone.”
So he knew the circuit.“By then we knew some ranchers andthey hired us on, and that’s what we do.”
“That’s what you do.Bay makes art.According to Stef he’sincredibly good, and Stef isn’t wrong about those things.What happened to thegrant?Stef told me all the money from the auction that day you and yourbrother tried to buy my wife went to Bay.”
“It was ten grand, and we coasted on it for a long time.”
“Why doesn’t Bay hang out here and work on his art?”Maxasked.“Stef would get you a cabin.He’s real high on what Bay does.”
They’d talked about it, and Shane knew he couldn’t do it.Hecouldn’t freeload off his brother.“We liked to move around a lot when we wereyounger.”
“And now?”
How much should he tell this man?“I like Bliss.Bay, too.”
“What made you decide on Bliss?”
Shane sighed and turned.“Do you want me to tell you howmuch I love your sister?”
Max nodded.“Yes.I think it’s time for you to say thosewords to me so I can start dealing with the situation.I’m damn tired ofsitting around and pretending everything is going to work out and that all weneed is time.”
He got the feeling Max was talking about more than Brooke.“I love Brooke.I’ve loved her from the minute I met her.But I don’t know thatI’m good enough for her.”
“No one is good enough for Brooke.”Max’s lips curled up ina sad sort of smile.“Sorry, but I remember her as a kid who looked up to meand asked me to tuck her into bed and look for monsters under her bed, and nowshe’s got to deal with the fact that the world can grind you down, and she’sdoing it all alone.We built that house because we hoped she would come homeone day.But not like this.”
“I think she feels that.I know you’re not saying you’redisappointed with her, but you are disappointed, and she can feel it.And I’msaying this knowing it’ll probably hurt me in the end because you fightingmeans she spends more time with us, but the truth of the matter is I want herto be happy more than I want her to be with me.”There was a hole in his gutwhen he said the words.If she left, he wasn’t sure that hole would ever fillagain.And there was a reason he’d never pushed Bay to take Stef up on all hisoffers.“I think Bay’s going to hit it big someday.I think he’ll fit intoBrooke’s world.”
“But you won’t.”
“I don’t think I bring much to the table.I think sheprobably likes having two men around, but I worry I’ll drag them down.”
“Shane, that is the voices in your head talking.”Max madethe turn onto Main Street and quickly pulled into The Trading Post parking lot.“That is what your stepmom taught you at a young age.Bay is perfect, andyou’re a pain in everyone’s ass.I would bet you feel the need to organizeeverything and take care of the people you think are important in your life.Iwould bet you handle things for Bay that he doesn’t even think about, andyou’re probably already taking care of Brooke.”
“Why would you say that?”He was confused because it almostsounded like Max was trying to convince him he wasn’t an asshole who shouldstay away from his precious family.
“Because Bay is way too caught up in his own shit.Hedoesn’t mean to be, and I’m sure when it’s pointed out to him, he wants to makethings right, but you two are what I like to call a symbiotic relationship.There’s nothing wrong with that.Rye and I wouldn’t know what to do without theother.I don’t think we were born whole.Something split, and we had to makesure we survived.Now we have to make sure we properly love and take care ofour family.We’re failing.”
He was being hard on himself.“I think Rachel needs abreak.”
“I think Rachel needs to be reminded that those kids existbecause we love her.She needs to remember that she’s the center of the worldand Rye and I need to stop being so stubborn and let our family help us out,”Max admitted.“Look, the truth of the matter is I’m more like Bay.I sometimesget lost in what I’m doing, what I want.For Bay, it’s his art.For me, it’shorses and this business.I’m sure Alexei will tell me a big part of my driveto make it all work is to prove to my father that I’m better than he was.He’snever come back.Never looked for us.”
