Page 61 of Next Time Will Be Our Turn
Ellery laughed. “Classic Tulip. Comes out with guns blazing. No, I’m not married. Not seeing anyone.”
I ignored the relief shooting through my limbs. “How come?”
“Well, I’ve been dating on and off, but haven’t found the right person, I guess. And when I moved back here, I just haven’t really been looking.” She glanced at me. “Any other questions, Tulip? I can practically hear your mind spinning away. The wheels are always turning with you.”
“Gotta keep up with you somehow,” I said.
She grinned. “Damn straight! How about you? How’s married life treating you?”
The last thing I wanted to talk about with Ellery was Parker. “It’s okay.”
“Hmm.” She glanced at me again, then back at the road. “Are you…happy?”
Why did I start this stupid conversation? What a way to restart our friendship. I had to change the subject, and quick. “I’m okay. Hey, when did you start hanging out with Iris?”
“Oh yeah, that was pretty random, huh? She messaged me on Facebook a few months back, and we’ve been chatting on and off since. Then when I moved back, we met up and, oh my god, how cute is Hazel? I totally fell in love with her.”
“She’s the best.”
“I do a bit of babysitting for her sometimes.”
“Really?” I was genuinely surprised.
“Yeah.” Ellery pointed at the back of her car. “See?”
I turned and saw a car seat installed in the middle of the back seat. “Oh my god. That’s for Hazel?”
“Yeah. Those things are a bitch to install, so I don’t bother taking it out. Actually, I don’t know if I know how to take it out. It’s staying there forever.”
I laughed. “That’s amazing. I can’t believe you got a car seat for Hazel. So, you spend a lot of time with her?”
“Quite a bit, yeah. Iris gets childcare at the office, but Hazel gets pretty restless being cooped up in the same room from nine to six. So sometimes I swing by and take her out to the park. In fact, I was thinking of doing that today, if you’re up for it?”
I stared at her. A day out with Ellery and my niece? What kind of a dream did I just fall into? This was way too good to be true. I didn’t want to wake up. I nodded and tried to keep the emotion from my voice as I said, “Yes. I would like that very much.”
Chapter 21
MAGNOLIA
2010
How does one cheat without cheating? On the surface, nothing that Ellery and I were doing would count as cheating. We were friends, best friends at the most, just hanging out with each other. It didn’t take long for us to fall back into our old, cozy pattern. Didn’t take us long to fall back into laughing so hard that we collapsed into each other’s arms. But there was nothing wrong with hugs between two buddies, nothing at all.
How does one cheat without cheating? One does it by loving every second spent together, consuming every moment with her greedily, memorizing every facet of her, down to the way she blinks her eyes. One does it by making up more and more excuses to spend time with her, running all sorts of mundane errands with her, like changing the oil in your car, which you know very well how to do, but you pretend not to so she’d have to come with you. One does it by thinking of her nonstop whenshe’s not around, wondering how she would react to every little thing that happens in your life. Whenever something funny/interesting/sad happens, you don’t think:What would my husband say?You think:What would she say? How hard would she laugh at this? And this, and this?
I promise you, Izzy, when I went to LA, I had no thoughts of Ellery. Aside from writing the occasional letter, I’d left her behind as a phase in my life that I’d largely gotten over. I did not harbor any secret hopes of meeting her. How could I? As far as I knew, she was still in London. But once we reconnected, there was no way in hell I could’ve stayed away from her.
We spent almost every day together. And, god, those were the days. Even now, decades later, when I look back at that time in my life, it shines so brightly in my mind, overshadowing all other memories. So vibrant. I hadn’t realized how much living in Indonesia as Parker’s wife had dulled me. It was as though I’d been asleep for the past ten years and hadn’t even realized it. Like my name, I felt like I was a flower and Ellery the sun, and without her, I’d drooped low and sank to the ground, and now she was here once more and I felt her warm, bright light. I was unfurling, my stem straightening up, letting the skin of my petals soak up every drop of her.
We took Hazel everywhere. Venice Beach was a favorite of ours. Hazel hated the sand at first, but she soon took to it and enjoyed paddling in the slow rush of the waves. Ellery sometimes surfed, and I would stand until the waves were up to my hips, carrying Hazel, and we’d watch Ellery riding the waves, her blond hair catching fire in the sunlight. Hazel would clap and squeal, and I’d murmur, “Yeah, she’s pretty amazing, isn’t she?” People would often stop and stare, especially when Elleryswam back to shore and came out of the water like some goddess, her toned shoulders rippling as she stripped off her wet suit.
For lunch, we’d buy a large bowl of tuna poke from a stand called Poke Poke. The tuna came in big chunks, firm and well seasoned. Hazel was on solids now, and she absolutely adored that poke. She’d grab a square of tuna and gnaw on it while grinning and saying, “Yummy, Wia!” I’d say, “Yeah, it’s pretty freaking yummy, isn’t it?” Then she’d offer Ellery a chewed-up chunk of tuna and say, “Lewy, yum-yum.” Ellery didn’t even hesitate before taking the bite of half-eaten tuna from Hazel’s hand.
It was yet another thing on the endless list of things I adored about Ellery. She never hesitated when it came to Hazel. Nothing was too gross or too dumb or too troublesome. I could never imagine Parker eating anything Hazel had gummed. I mean, that chunk of nibbled-on tuna was gross. Even I would’ve grimaced and tried to wriggle out of eating it.
Then we’d walk up and down the beach, sucking on popsicles and going through the street vendors’ wares until Hazel fell asleep in her stroller. We’d find some shade and sit on the grass and chat. At some point, we’d end up lying down on the grass, still talking about nothing and everything until the sky changed from bright yellow to late-afternoon blue.
What did we talk about on those long, slow days? Everything. There were no limits. She told me about London, finally giving me a glimpse into the last ten years of her life.
