Page 64 of Next Time Will Be Our Turn
She rolled her eyes in that very Iris way of hers. “You shine when you have someone to help. When I left Erik and had nowhere else to go, I knew I could turn to you. You’re usually such a wet tissue, but when I came running to you, you suddenly turned into this badass bitch who took control of the entire situation.”
I laughed. “I was not badass.”
“Uhh, I beg to differ.” Iris’s expression turned soft. “I wouldn’t be here without you, Mags.”
A lump lodged in my throat, refusing to let me speak.
“Wouldn’t have made it out, wouldn’t have my job. I probably would’ve fallen back into my shitty marriage because I ran out of options.”
“You wouldn’t,” I managed to rasp out. “You would never.”
Iris shook her head. “Who can say? I was at such a low point in my life. I couldn’t see the end of the tunnel. You were the one who brought me out of that. You have a gift, Sis. I know you don’tbelieve in yourself, but believe in me, at least. Believe in Ellery. You were meant to be so much more than Parker’s trophy wife.”
I gave a tearful laugh. “I can’t believe that’s what I am now.”
“Yeah…well, you kind of were groomed from the very beginning to become one. But you don’t have to stay one. Unless you want to.”
“I don’t want to.”
“So don’t.”
“Parker would never agree to it. He’d say it’s too expensive, and it’s true, they’re very expensive.”
“I’ll pay for it. It’s my turn to return the favor. I’ll pay for whatever master’s program you decide to do.”
“You can’t do that!” I said.
“Bitch, I’m making bank, I can do whatever the fuck I want with my money.”
This time, we both laughed so hard that Hazel looked up from her playpen and started fussing. I went over, picked her up, and smelled the top of her head. “Really? You’d do that for me? It’s a lot of money, and I don’t even know if I’d be able to pay you back.”
“What are sisters for?” Iris said. “You’d better ace it though.”
• • •
So I spent the next few months researching master’s programs in the area. I did broach the subject with Parker, and he shot it down, predictably.
“Why would you want to waste money on that?” he said, wrinkling his nose.
“Well, I’d like to actually do something with my psychologydegree, and getting a master’s would allow me to become a licensed counselor.”
“Yeah, but you’d be dealing with cra—sorry, politically incorrect. You’d be dealing with…unsavory people.”
“I don’t know that calling people struggling with mental health ‘unsavory’ is that much better,” I said.
Parker sighed. “You know what I mean, sweetie.”
I hated it when he called me “sweetie,” because he only ever did that when he was frustrated and wanted to shut down the conversation. “No, actually, I don’t know what you mean. There are many people struggling with things like depression and anxiety, and it doesn’t make them any less human than you.”
“Okay, I get it. You’re right. But why should you be the one dealing with those people?”
“Because I want to.”
Parker shook his head. “Well, I think it’s a bad idea, and I think doing a master’s course in it would just be a waste of time. We’re going to start a family soon, aren’t we? When are you going to have the time to counsel people?”
Immediately, my defenses clapped into place. I still hadn’t told Parker about the IUD. Most Chindo couples conceive soon after marriage, and Parker wanted that for us. I wanted kids too, but not yet. Not before I figured out what the hell I wanted to do with my life. If I had kids before figuring myself out, I would be moved from the box labeledTrophy Wifeto one labeledMother, and there I would stay until my kids were grown and gone, and then where would I be? What box remained for me?
“Not right now,” I said. “Not while we’re living in a one-bedroom apartment.”
