Page 116 of The Marriage Narrative
She loved the feel of his rumbling laugh against her back. Choosing to be honest with herself and Jordan about wanting sex was like a curtain lifting. She could tell him anything now—trusted him with knowing everything. As soon as she got her thoughts together, he’d hear them first. She pulled his arm tighter around her and interlaced their fingers.
“I don’t want to do another show,” she admitted. “Do you?”
“I think it’s worth talking about, but I promised one season.” Her eyelids fluttered as his warm breath fanned against the back of her neck. “Ifwedon’t decide to do moretogether, it’s an automatic no from me.”
She fervently kissed the back of his hand and tucked it under her cheek for safekeeping. “A simple yes or no would’ve been fine,” she teased. “Does curating our life for storylines ever bother you?”
“Not really. Why?” His teeth lightly grazed her ear, and he chuckled at the full-body shiver it elicited.
“It’s just…at the party, when you called me beautiful and said you—” She shook her head. “I got upset because I don’t like it when you say things like that about me on camera.”
His body briefly tensed around her. “Okay.”
“I know we have to perform, but that kind of lying is over the top. No one will believe you feel that way about me. It’s too unrealistic. We should stick to being more genuine.”
“No one oryou? Because you’ve never asked how I feel.” For some reason, he started laughing.
“Because I already know.”
“Is that right?” He sounded skeptically amused. “Feelings can change.”
She scoffed. “Well, yes. We’re not lying here naked fornothing.”
Zinnia initially put limits on the Open Door clause for a reason. No romance and no emotions. Sex only. She came up with it in the first place to reduce the risk of losing her partner.
But Jordan didn’t play by those rules. Sex? Kissing? Those were peak romantic acts in his book. He was never going to use his Open Door with Bea because he wasn’t in love with her anymore, but there could always be someone else in the future.
And she didn’t start feeling profoundly horny out of nowhere. It wasn’t magic—they put in the fucking work. The bond they shared now was…Jesus, she still couldn’t even put it in words yet.
They started having sex because his heart was safe with her, and he knew her inside and out. That was all and it was enough.
“Wouldn’t it be terrible if I loved you that much?” He was just chuckling his heart out now.
“That’s not what I meant. My point was the lying. I don’t want us to go that route anymore.”
His continued muffled laughter finally made her twist around. “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing.” He tried to stop smiling but couldn’t.
“Is it me?”
“Yeah.” He rubbed his nose against hers, kissed her softly, and made a breathy noise.
“Are yougiggling?”
He ended up snorting and shoving his face into the pillow. “I’m sorry. I can’t help it. You make me feel like I’m high.”
Zinnia thought she misheard him at first. She placed a hand between his shoulders and tried to coax him into looking at her by whispering his name.
Most people would’ve felt embarrassed, but not Jordan. His giddy, triumphant grin matched the elated look in his eyes. She made him feel like that, so happy he had no choice other than to let her see it.
This had to be the most erotic moment of her life. Him being unafraid to be so vulnerable really did it for her.
“Scale of one to ten: How high are you?”
“Ten.”
She reached down between them and began stroking him. They lay like that languidly kissing until he said, “Hold on.” He moved into a sitting position, back against the headboard, and guided her onto his lap. “I want you to do it.”
