Page 105 of The Friend Scheme
He slides his hand out from under, and brings it up to my face. Then he leans down and kisses me. I open my mouth, and tease my tongue against his. He’s moving his mouth slowly, and I try to mirror him. It feels really good.
He pulls back.
“Good?” I ask.
“So good.”
“Should we take our shirts off? We don’t have to go further than that, but, do you want to?”
“Definitely.” He tears off his shirt, and then he frantically takes mine off me.
We take a second to look at each other, both shirtless. He’s soperfect. I run my hands down his chest, to his stomach. I touch his abs, feeling the individual ridges of muscle. They feel different from what I was expecting. More solid. I didn’t even know a stomach could feel like this.
He knots his hand through my hair, and for a second I think I should stop.
I’m not sure if I can be just friends with benefits with him.
I think I like him too much for that.
When he leans down, I let him kiss me.
CHAPTER TWENTY
I’m at Jimmy’s, sitting at a booth near the back, by myself. I’m thinking about Jason, trying to figure out what I’m going to do about the epic shitstorm I’ve found myself in.
Being friends with benefits with him is never going to work.
I know that.
I like him way too much, and I’mwaytoo attracted to him.
In fact, I’m genuinely worried about us getting so close and going so far that when it all falls to pieces, I’ll be ruined. I really can see us gettingthatclose. Or at least my liking him that much.
Let’s be real, though.
Even with the risk, deep down I know I’m not going to stop seeing him.
I don’t know if Icouldstop, even if I wanted to.
The bar is dim, like always. Sara is drinking a Scotch alone at the bar, and Grandma is talking to Barbie. Dad’s upstairs. It’s his first night back.
Ending things with Jason now would be a really good call. I know that.
And I want to be smart. I really do.
But hanging out with him… it’s everything to me. I like it way more than anything else in my life. I can’t give it up.
I swirl my drink and take a sip.
It’s just Coke, but I’m hoping people think it’s got bourbon or something in it. I feel like drinking just Coke is too childish, and forsome reason I care about that right now. Not that anyone is giving me much attention. Cassidy isn’t here tonight, so I’m back to sitting by myself, waiting for the night to be over.
The bar looks quieter than normal. It seems like a lot of allied families have sat this night out. Maybe Cassidy’s theory was right. That this exodus is because of the Friend Scheme. Like the Mackenzies, who we’re allied with because they are the best at supplying weaponry. Or the Davidsons, who help run the illegal gambling rings we have set up around the city. They’re not here, and we need them.
I guess that’s paranoia for you, though.
It’s not rational by definition.
I just wish Dad would listen to me. He can’t see this because he’s so sure he knows everything. But us losing allies isreallybad. We need them, even if he thinks we don’t. I know in my gut that he should listen to me, but I don’t think he’s ever going to.
