Page 128 of The Friend Scheme
I know we held hands during the whole movie. But this is different. This is out in public.
“Sorry,” I say. “I’m not ready.”
He clenches his hand into a fist. “Hey, no worries. I get it.”
“I liked it during the movie, though!”
He smiles, but it’s obviously fake. We reach the restaurant. His eyes are still downcast.
“Hey,” I say. “What’s up?”
“Nothing.”
That’s so obviously not the case.
“Is this about the holding-hands thing? Because I—”
“It’s not just that,” he says. “Sorry, I’m being really moody.”
“That’s fine. What’s on your mind?”
“I shouldn’t say.”
“No, you can. Tell me.”
“Okay. Have you thought more about the family thing?”
“I mean, a little.”
“And? I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s been a while, I was hoping maybe you’d changed your mind.”
Wait, isthiswhy he didn’t message me for a week? So I’d change my mind?
“Oh, um,” I say. “I don’t think I’m going to change my mind. I’m pretty sure not talking to you about my family is the right call.”
“But for how long?”
“I don’t know. I’m really sorry, and I’m trying, I just…”
“Don’t trust me.”
I press a knuckle to my forehead. “It’s not that. I get how this must make you feel, and I’m really sorry. Can’t we just ignore this, like we used to?”
He shakes his head. “I don’t think I can anymore.”
“What does that mean?”
I think he just gave me an ultimatum.
“I’m trying my best,” he says. “But it’s really hard to date a guy who has this big section of his life totally off-limits to me. How are we supposed to get close if you’re never going to talk about real stuff?”
“I don’t know.”
“I don’t know, either. That’s the problem.”
That lingers between us.
“I really like you,” I say. “You know that, right?”
