Page 59 of The Friend Scheme
I get home and park in my spot. I turn off the engine and just sit there for a second, thinking. My mind is stuck on that moment in the pool. It felt like I almost lost control for a second there.
And I really, really liked it.
I open the door and step outside, then jog up to the front door. Inside, Luke is playingFortnite. Eddie is curled up beside him.
“Hey,” he says. “Where were you?”
“A friend’s place.”
His eyebrows narrow. “What friend?”
“Lev, we’re hanging out again.”
We hung out a few years ago, but then it petered out when he found a new group of guys to be friends with. He got popular and ditched me, basically. It hurt like hell, and I’ve never told anyone about it. But I’ve decided he’s the perfect cover, because Luke and Dad know him, and I figure it’s not too weird that we’ve started hanging out again. I feel like in an alternate universe, one where I’m not a total loser, it could happen.
“That’s awesome!” he says. “Lev’s a cool dude. What’d you do?”
Talked about being gay.
Shirtless wrestled.
You know. Straight stuff.
“Not much. Swam for a bit.”
“Nice. Wanna join? I just finished my game.”
“Yeah, later,” I say. “I’m going to take a nap; I’m wiped.”
“’Kay.”
I lock the door to my room. I should probably turn on my speaker and play some music, make some white noise, but I don’t think I have time. What I’m feeling is way too intense for that sort of preplanning. I know it might be a bad idea, seeing as I want to stay just friends with Jason, but I’m not in control right now.
I don’t have a choice.
I pull off my shirt and then fall backward onto my bed.
In my mind, I go back to the pool. It’s not too difficult, I still smell like chlorine and sunscreen.
I slide my hand down my pants and start.
Jason. Jason Jason Jason.
My hair is still wet, I can feel it against my pillow. I recall his body, and his smile, and exactly how it felt when he touched me. Or complimented me. Or sat right beside me. The way he laughs.
Tension builds in my shoulders, and with my free hand I yank my jeans down a couple of inches. The feelings swell, becoming unbearable, and I try as hard as I can to stop but it’s too late and I…
It’s done.
I lie back down, breathing heavy. My shoulders relax, and I smack my lips. My jeans are digging into my thighs.
Shit.
I just jerked off to Jason. And I wasn’t even quiet about it. Anyone walking by might’ve heard.
What if they heard?
I could never look at them again. My life would be over.
