“I get that. I’ve been a little salty with Dad sometimes, but I’ve never gotten into a big fight with him.”
That’s way too scary a prospect.
But oh shit, I just talked to Jason about Dad. I can’t do that again.
“Fuck,” I say.
“What?”
“I just said something about my dad. I really shouldn’t do that.”
“I mean, you can, if you want to. The jig is up, I’m not trying to learn your secrets anymore, I promise.”
But what if he is?
“I don’t think I should,” I say. “I do trust you. Mostly. But, dude, what if this is all part of your plot?”
“That’d make me the worst mole ever.”
“Or the best.”
“If you don’t trust me, I can go. It was your decision to hang out again, remember?”
“Oh, right.”
We both fall silent. I watch the Ferris wheel spin.
“I’m really glad you did message me, though,” he says. “I really liked getting to know you.”
“What’d you like about it?” I ask.
He leans back. He puts his arm out, so it’s on the backrest behind me. “Just being able to be, you know? I’m JasonDonovan. A lot of the time that’s all anyone cares about. As if that tells them everything that’s important about me. It was nice to meet someone and just be myself, because I couldn’t tell you who I am. Does that make any sense?”
“It makessomuch sense. It was nice to be someone other thanLittle Matty.”
“Wait, Little Matty?”
“Yeah, that’s what my family calls me. I used to be short.”
“Assholes.”
It makes me laugh, out of sheer shock. “It’s just a nickname.”
“Yeah, but a mean one. Not that there’s anything wrong with being short, but you know, it sounds like they weren’t saying it affectionately.”
“They weren’t.”
“Then I stand by what I said. Assholes. All of them.”
I get another rush of affection for him. I’m weirdly relieved I can still feel that, even though I know who he is now.
“So you don’t like being a Donovan?” I ask.
My voice shakes as I ask that.
He stares forward, thinking. He blinks a few times, like he’s never thought about it, and now it’s hitting him hard.
“I guess I don’t. That sucks, right?”