Page 11 of The Friend Scheme
“You’re a weird dude, anyone ever tell you that?”
“You did, just now.”
He laughs. “Where was my invite? I’m bulking, you know I need all the calories I can get.”
He slaps his hard stomach. I have no idea how the whole musclething works, that he can eat burgers and stuff and still look like him. It seems to go against everything I’ve been taught at school about being healthy.
“You were busy.”
“Doing what?”
I chew my nail. “You were with Cass, remember?”
“Oh yeah. I almost forgot. So many girls, so little time, you know?”
Obviously, I don’t.
“Did you two hook up?” I ask as I put my hands behind my head, so I’m mirroring him. In front of me is my pool, then a small stretch of perfectly kept lawn. Dad makes us cut it on alternating Saturdays. If I forget, Luke reminds me. It looks really short, so I guess he’s already done it this morning.
“Even if I did, I wouldn’t tell you,” he says.
I roll my eyes.
“How ’bout you?” he asks.
“Are you asking if I hooked up with Cass?”
“No. Did you meet any girls?”
“What do you think? Nobody even noticed I was there.”
“God, stop being so pathetic. I’m telling you, just find a girl who gives you a happy feeling down there, then give ’em the old Miller smolder. They’ll become obsessed with you, for the night, anyway. Trust me.”
My brother, folks. I love him. But he’s such a douchebag.
“Noted,” I say.
I don’t know why I said that, because I already know it’s not really possible for a girl to give me any sort of feeling down there. Trust me, I’ve tried. I watched all sorts of videos on the internet, hopingthey’d inspire some sort of reaction in me. Like I’d see one girl, the right girl, and everything would click into place. But my attention is always,always, drawn to the guys.
I’m just built that way.
I’m done with this conversation, so I turn the volume of my music up, roll over, and face the opposite direction.
It’s Monday, and I’m at school, wishing I had the powers of the Invisible Woman from the Fantastic Four.
Naturally.
The main hallway is bustling, filled with people grabbing stuff from their lockers or heading to class. Guys high-five. Girls whisper things to one another. A teacher yells at a boy who is running somewhere, threatening him with detention if he doesn’t slow down.
I’m thinking about Jason again.
I’m still confused.
I’m starting to think he’s, like, a ghost or something. Or a figment of my imagination, created out of extreme loneliness. I created a cute gamer guy because he’s, like, my dream friend.
Who hasnosocial media?
I know it’s hard to find someone if you don’t know their last name. But still, how can he not be friends withanyoneI know?
