Page 124 of The Friend Scheme
“I dunno.”
“Oh.”
He won’t look me in the eyes.
“I like you, Jason. And I like this. Our friendship means so much to me. But I don’t feel comfortable talking about my family to you. It doesn’t mean I don’t care about you; I really mean that.”
“That’s the thing,” he says, leaning forward. “I think talking about our families will make this better. Seriously.”
“You can’t know that.”
“No, but I’m about as sure as it’s possible for me to be.”
I pause, watching him, keeping solid eye contact. Then I glance down. It’s just… it’s not like he’s been open at all about his family. I don’t know anything about them because of our deal. It feels unfair almost that he wants me to go first, to take all the risk. “Can you just let me think about it?”
“Yeah, definitely.”
“But would you be okay with us keeping our rule going, if I decideI want that? Like, would it be okay with you if wenevertalk about our families?”
“I… I don’t know. I always thought…”
“What?”
“I assumed we would talk about everything, at some point. I didn’t realize you might never want that.”
“Yeah,” I say. “Right now, I think that’s what I want. Anyway. This is a problem we can deal with later, right?”
He smiles weakly. “Yeah, sure.”
After we’ve finished eating, Jason pays the bill, then returns to the table.
“No way,” I say. “Let’s split it.”
He smirks. “It’s already done.”
I stand and throw a twenty-dollar bill at him. It flutters down to the table.
He picks it up, then steps closer, so he towers over me. I freeze, and my breath hitches. His expression is so serious, and I have no idea what he’s doing. He rolls the cash up tightly, and sticks it into my front pocket. I go totally still and chew my lip. He taps it down, until only the top part is sticking out.
“Keep it,” he says.
“You sure?”
He nods once.
I clear my throat. “Thanks.”
We go outside. It’s started sprinkling rain. I still feel shitty. And Jason seems really clammed up, too.
He and I stand in the lot, facing each other, lit by the neon, in front of our cars. We’re getting gently rained on.
“Hey,” he says. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you. We can pretend I didn’t, if you want.”
“No, don’t be sorry. I want to know what you’re thinking. But I already know. I’m never going to want to talk to you about my family. I just don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“Oh.”
“Is that okay?”
