Page 144 of The Friend Scheme
“I know,” I say. “I’m such a disappointment, right?”
“Dude, no! That’s not what I mean at all. You’re this sweet, thoughtful guy. I know you, and I know you’d never hurt anyone.You… you’re a wonderful person. You’re a good guy, just from a bad family. That was obvious to me straightaway.”
I stare up. A few gulls are circling overhead. It’s late afternoon now, so the sun is going down.
“Why are you even telling me this?” I say. “And why didn’t you finish it? I was about to tell you everything. You know that, right?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“So you had everything you wanted. But then you do this. Why? I mean, the sex was good, but it wasn’tthisgood.”
“I couldn’t do it to you.” He smiles. “And hey, don’t talk down, you’ve got skills.”
“If you expect me to believe that, and that you care about me, I—”
“But I do,” he says. “Deeply. That’s real.”
“Fuck off.”
That hits him hard.
I almost feel bad.
Almost.
He’s a monster. He’s lied to me and manipulated me. So what if he had a point about our parents making us do things that we don’t want to do? He still came so freaking close to ruining not only my life but also that of my whole family.
My family wouldn’t go to prison.
They just wouldn’t.
They’d fight the cops with everything they have. They’d die before they let the cops win.
He’d know this if he talked to me.
He also would’ve been dooming me to an incredibly painfuldeath. If word got out that I was the one who told the son of a cop the secrets of my family, then I would’ve been hunted down. Nowhere would be safe, as I’d be my family’s biggest target. The whole criminal underworld would want me dead.
No matter where I ran, one day, they’d find me.
I know men like Vince save their worst tortures for snitches.
Jason came within seconds of dooming me to that fate. Of practically killing my entire family. Of dooming me to a short life on the run, then an incredibly painful death. I came within seconds of that reality coming true.
It doesn’t matter that he stopped.
I can never forgive him.
“Do you hate me?” he asks.
“You don’t want to know.”
Which, honestly, is an answer.
“This is so fucked,” he says.
He’s started crying, which surprises me. I never really thought of Jason as the sort of guy who’d cry.
But he is now.
