Page 170 of The Friend Scheme
“I, um…”
I just need to say it.
“I’ve tried my best,” I say. “I swear, I really have. But what you do… I can’t do it. I’ve never been able to. I’m not built like you and like Luke. I need to tap out.”
Dad watches me for a second.
“You want out?”
“Yeah.”
“Of what?”
“Everything,” I say. “This.” I gesture around his office. “I love you guys, but I can’t… I’ve tried so hard to make it work so you’d be happy. But, Dad, I’m miserable. I barely sleep, and most of the time I’m an anxious wreck. I keep hoping these feelings will pass, but they never do.”
He nods.
“Well?” I ask.
“You’ve totally blindsided me. I thought you were happy.”
“I’m not. And I’m really sorry.”
“How can it not be for you?” he says, the anger in his voicerising. “Our family has been in this business for generations. It’s what we do.”
“I know. But it doesn’t work for me.”
“So what?” he says. “You think you’re the first person to spit in the face of years of tradition? Get over yourself and deal with it. I only want the best for you, and you have to trust me when I say this is the best path.”
“Please, Dad—”
“And what will you do? I hope you aren’t coming to me without a plan for your future.”
“I’m not. I’d stay here until the end the year and work my ass off to get a scholarship. Then I’d move out west for college, and you’d never have to see me again, if you don’t want to.”
His brow creases. “Why west?”
“I’ve always wanted to try living there. I’ve never told you, but I have. It’s what I’ve wanted for years. I hate it here.”
He leans back in his chair and stares at me. But I see in his gaze something like a spark.
“I’ve suspected this for a while. One son takes after me. The other…”
Oh.
Mom.
He shakes his head. “Matt, I have something I need to tell you, too.”
I freeze.What’s going on?
“Your mom. Diane. You two were always incredibly close. From the time you were little, she wanted a different life for you.”
My breath goes shallow, and my eyes fill with tears.
“You remind me of her in so many ways. It’s possible I took some of my anger at losing her out on you.”
He twists the silver ring on his finger.
