Page 75 of The Friend Scheme
I can’t do this.
The Friend Scheme is the real reason I’m here. I’m not here to have a good time. I’m here to find out if Jason is really a Donovan.
I can’t forget that.
I need some space to think this through. Because once I bring it up, there’s no taking it back, and I will probably lose all of this. Evenif it’s fake, a part of me thinks it’s better than nothing. I want to ignore it and string him along for a little while, just to keep it going.
That’s a terrible idea, though. I know it.
“Hey,” I say, sliding in close to him so he can hear me. “I need some air. I’ll be back in a minute.”
Jason frowns. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, it’s nothing,” I say as I start walking away. “It’s just hot in here; I’m feeling a little light-headed.”
“Do you want me to come with?”
“No, you’re good. I’ll be back in a sec.”
With that, I turn and walk away. It’s not exactly a graceful exit.
I leave the gym and walk down a hall and then take a left.
I should’ve expected this to happen. That I’d see Jason and he’d make me feel like I’m someone else. Someone cool and handsome. And I’d do anything to keep that feeling… even pretend I don’t know who he really is, and why we’re friends.
Because I know what’s going to happen.
As soon as Jason knows that I know his secret, we’ll never talk again.
I shouldn’t have given myself the chance to feel how great it could’ve been if we were different people. If I was Matt Thomas, and he was whoever he’s pretending to be.
Because I don’t even need to ask him to know, I know it in my gut.
He’s a Donovan.
We’re enemies.
I need to be strong and end it.
I find an empty stairwell and sit down, leaning my back against the wall. I’m sweaty all over and feel like throwing up.
All because of my stupid family.
I breathe in deeply a few times.
I clench my palm, then release it. Clench, release.
This is so unfair. Why can’t I just have it easy, like everyone else does?
My family is to blame. I make one friend, my first ever, and it’s considered a bad thing. This is so messed up.
I push the thoughts away and focus on breathing deeply.
When I no longer feel like the walls are closing in as much, I open Instagram on my phone, hoping it’ll be a good distraction. I mostly follow celebrities and movie fan accounts, as well as Luke. He’s posted a bathroom selfie, and in it he’s lifting his black tank up, to show off his abs.
I roll my eyes and go past it.
I scroll for a while, liking everything. It feels so hollow, though.
