Page 105 of My Roommate from Hell
“I don’t know. It can be hard to tell with them.”
I let the conversation fade out. I don’t really want to continue this line of questioning, because I know we’ll need to figure some things out if he does decide to stay. I’m having a great time fake-dating him, I’ve decided there’s no point denying that to myself. I can’t imagine doing it for an entire year, though. That’s too much time to be spent wrapped up in a lie.
If he stays, we’ll need to break up. Even if it wouldn’t be my choice.
“I’m going to swim,” he says and stands up. I guess that means he also doesn’t want to pick at this thread. “We can talk about this later. Coming?”
“I’m good,” I say.
He grabs the collar of his shirt and pulls it off over his head. I play it as cool as I can, but it’s as if I will never get sick of seeing his body. It’s a hard-wired attraction that is completely undeniable. My gaze drifts over his chest. Then the world snaps back into focus, the magic disappearing as quickly as it appeared.
He tosses his shirt onto the seat beside me, then kicks off his shoes and pulls off his pants.
I swirl my drink, and try to muster up the courage to join him. It might be cold in the pool, but at least it doesn’t mean I’m left here, sitting at a party filled with people I don’t know.
“How’s my hair?” he asks, preening.
“Incredible as ever.”
He ruffles my hair, then turns and heads toward the pool. Instead of watching him, I pay attention to the crowd. He really does stop the party, anyone that notices him does a double take. He truly is showstopping, and right now I don’t think it’s because he’s from Hell. It’s because he’s himself, wearing a red swimsuit.
He reaches the water, and it’s as if he’s the entertainment on offer. Even the DJ seems to pale in comparison. He looks back over his shoulder and skips over the entire crowd to lock eyes with me. The ruby resting against his chest catches the light.
Then he turns and jumps into the water.
It has an immediate effect on the party. Suddenly the pool is the place to be. People start stripping off and following him in.
I take another sip.
I want to go in as well, but something is stopping me. It might be nerves—actually, it certainly is. And screw that. If I want to swim, I should. Plus, if this fake relationship with Zarmenus is rapidly expiring, then I should enjoy it while I still can.
I do know from watching videos online that the things people seem to regret the most about their lives are the things they didn’t do, as opposed to the things they did. People rarely say they regret rolling the dice and quitting their job to travel the world or chase their dreams or go after the person they love. It seems that in the end, the riskiest choice is staying still to try to avoid failing at anything, because it means you never go for what you really want.
I’m not going to let that happen to me.
I get up and grab my trunks from my backpack. I do feel a little worried leaving our stuff unattended, but it’s not like nobody elseis doing it. There are a bunch of bags and things left up here on the bleachers.
I leave our stuff. As I walk closer to the pool, I see that Zarmenus has already joined a group of people. I watch as one of them hands Zarmenus a cup. Are they trying to get him drunk on human alcohol? Don’t they know it won’t work on him?
I walk through the party to go into the bathroom. It’s completely empty, so I go up to the mirror and grip the edges of the sink. I breathe in a few times, trying to get myself to settle. I feel stuck between queasy sickness and a desire to simply be out of my head for a moment, where I can just go to the pool and swim and have a night where I simply don’t care about everything as much. That would be so nice. For everything to feel less intense all the time.
I look up, seeing my reflection in my eyes. I remind myself that what is going on in my head isn’t obvious to everyone else. I look like someone who belongs here. I like how my hair is sitting right now, and this shirt makes me look cute.
Screw it.
I go into the stall and change into my trunks.
I’ve got this.
No overthinking.
I’m going to join in and it’s going to be totally fine.
I leave the bathroom, drop my clothes off with my stuff, then go through the crowd to reach the edge of the pool. Unlike Zarmenus, me in just a swimsuit doesn’t stop the entire party, but I do earn a few double takes.
I give myself one glance at Zarmenus, who is now surrounded, having a conversation with a group of jocks. I take hold of the ladder and step into the water. It’s warmer than I was expecting. I step farther down until my waist is submerged and I’m on the bottom rung. I let go, dropping into the water.
I duck under to wet my hair. I lift my head, and open my eyes to find someone swimming closer to me. Zarmenus. He’s got a big smile on his face.
