Page 130 of My Roommate from Hell
“We screwed this up,” he says. “And that’s so sweet. No matter what, we’re still going to be friends after this, you know that, right?”
“I didn’t. But I’d like that.”
“Me too,” he says. “But we really should go through our breakup again, for real this time. Let’s take it from the top?”
Here we go again.
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
It took us a while, but we’ve figured out the exact script for our breakup.
We set up the framework of our conversation surprisingly well on our first attempt, minus all the real questions and responses we added. The ones that were tangled up in real emotion and were messy and painful and confusing have been cut.
I don’t miss them.
I go over the script in my mind. We deemed it too risky to write it down, but we’ve practiced it enough we both know exactly what to say. We’ve revised it so it’s clear that we’re both devastated about the breakup. Our roles? Two heartbroken boys accepting that our lives are far too different for us to work as a couple.
The setting will be the dance, and the scene starts with Zarmenus finding me on the dance floor and asking to talk. I’m going to say that whatever he wants to tell me, he can say it to me here. I’m going to cross my arms and stand my ground. The hope is that should be enough to get some eyes on us, mostly because:
A) people love drama, and
B) people always pay attention to Zarmenus, no matter where he is. This is especially true now that he’s always in his true demon form.
If all goes to plan, someone will start filming us. Then he will tell me we should do the smart thing and break up, and I will agree with him. We’ll hug, I’ll cry if I can, and that will end both the scene and our fake relationship.
“You okay?”
I’m startled back to reality as Evie sits down on the couch next to me. We’re in the middle of the Gaymers’ last meetup for the semester, although at this point more people are drinking and talking than playing any games. Almost everyone else is drunk, and every room of the house now smells like alcohol or smoke. Loud music is playing from Madison’s playlist, which is primarily rap by artists I’ve never heard of mixed with Taylor Swift. When I asked her about it, she told me she contains multitudes, which was a good enough answer for me.
“I get it,” she says. “If I knew Madi was going to Hell I’d be devastated.”
Right. That fits.
“I’m going to really miss him,” I say.
“I know. But hey, he hasn’t left yet. Why don’t we stop moping on the couch and go find him?”
It’s brutal but fair.
We find Zarmenus in the living room. He’s playing a game of beer pong against Madison and Avery. He’s on a team with Tyrell, and by the looks of things neither of them is particularly good at beer pong. They only have one cup left, while only two cups have been taken from Madison and Avery’s side of the table.
“Do a spell,” says Tyrell to Zarmenus.
“No, no magic,” says Madison. “That’s cheating.”
“Well, do something,” says Tyrell, his voice slightly slurred by the alcohol. “What’s the point of having a magical teammate if you can’t do anything?”
Zarmenus lines up and throws, and his aim is way off.
“You’re going down, Hell boy,” says Madison.
“That’s offensive,” he says, before grinning. “Kidding.”
She throws the ball and it lands straight in their final cup. It’s about as perfect of a throw as one could ever hope for.
Given the rules of the game, it means that Zarmenus and Tyrell have to finish their opponents’ drinks. Zarmenus tips some of his potion into the first cup before drinking it.
“I don’t think I can drink anymore,” says Tyrell, who is now leaning against the wall, drunker than I’ve ever seen him. “I’ll be sick.”
