Page 39 of My Roommate from Hell
“It’s great,” I say, mustering up as much enthusiasm as I can.
“Lucky you, my freshman roommate was the worst.” He hands over my cookie, and the hot chocolate his coworker has finished making. “Enjoy.”
I just stop myself from saying “you too,” then go over to the door. Outside, it’s started to rain. I guess that means I’ll be staying in here for a while. I go over to one of the tables by the window and take a sip of my hot chocolate. At least the sign outside wasn’t misleading advertising, as it’s rich and sweet and just chocolatey enough. I take out my phone and decide to load Tyrell’s TikTok. I watch the newest posts in order. He’s kept his word, and hasn’t mentioned me once.
My phone buzzes.
I have a new follower request. It’s Zarmenus himself.
I didn’t know he used social media. In fact, he didn’t the last time I googled him, which was only a day or so ago. I click on his profile, and it’s clearly new. He only has three pictures. In the first, he’s flexing his arms in front of the Point University campus sign. It was posted this morning, and it already has nearly half a million likes, as well as a ridiculous number of comments. The next is a selfie of him sitting at his desk in our room. Our bunk bed and Mr. Turts are visible in the background. Last is a gym selfie, a clear thirst trap of him pulling a serious face while showing off his triceps, visible as he’s only wearing a tank top.
His follower count makes my eyes widen. It’s up to seven million. Already.
I’ve known this whole time he’s extremely famous, and the whole world is watching him. And yet, I am shocked, I can’t help it. I check, and he made the account last night. Seven million followers in less than a day. It shouldn’t be that surprising considering how popular Tyrell’s account is, which is just the experiences of someone going to college with him. But still. It hits me that he truly is one of the most famous people on Earth.
And I share a room with him.
I go to follow him back, but stop at the last minute. Do I really want more Zarmenus in my life? I have about enough as it is, and if his three posts in the last ten hours are indicative, he’s going to be posting a lot. I could always pretend I didn’t see it, but that’s rude. I accept the request, knowing I can always mute him if I have to. I notice he’s only following six people: three massive celebrities, me, his frat brother Adam, and a satirical God account, which makes me smile.
I scroll through the comments on his first post while I drink my hot chocolate and eat the cookie. The comments are a mixed bag. A lot of them are simple ones telling him how hot he is, most using either the fire or purple devil emoji. On the flip side, there’s also a lot of hate, and a bunch of mentions of the Order of the Golden Sun, who are apparently plotting revenge for his “attack” on one of their members.
There’s a lot of support, too, with people often fighting with the commentors who are telling Zarmenus to go back to Hell.
Once I’m finished with my hot chocolate, I check the time. It’s only 1:27, so I need to distract myself for another half hour. I wonder what Zarmenus is up to. Oh great, now I’m picturing him making out with a random guy. Bleh.
Thankfully it’s stopped raining, so I go outside and make my way to the library.
It’s a towering building on the north side of campus. I go inside and marvel at it. They’ve decorated it so there are books attached to the ceiling, creating an incredible display.
It’s got the same sense of comfort I always feel whenever I go into a library. Maybe it’s the warm smell of paper, or the general air of one of the few spaces on Earth that isn’t about extracting money from me. It’s peaceful and nice. This building is also clearly new, everything gleaming and polished, and there are a lot of big empty spaces. Glass cabinets house pieces of artwork by former students. They, too, clearly have been inspired by Zarmenus and the discovery of Hell.
A lot of the art depicts both Heaven and Hell as the images we have all seen throughout pop culture. Heaven is all billowy clouds and rays of golden sunshine, occupied by winged beings who always look serenely peaceful. Hell is fire and brimstone, with maniacally grinning figures delighting in the suffering of human souls.
There have been a lot of theories about the reasons why Hell imagery has been so prolific in human society. Some think travelers from Hell have visited earth before and spread stories. Others believe some extremely rare humans can perceive other dimensions, and they passed on that information. Still others think it has something to do with dreams, with some arguing that people are able to get glimpses into these other nearby dimensions while they are asleep. I myself am not sure, and think it might be a combination of all those things. If the dimension now called Hell does overlap with ours, then it makes sense that parts of that world have bled through.
My phone starts to ring. It’s Ashley.
I swipe to answer her call.
“Hey!” I say. “How are you?”
“I’m good,” she says. “Just checking in, I want to know how things are going!”
“They’re okay,” I say. I think about venting to her about Zarmenus, but something stops me. I think it has to do with not wanting to voice how frustrated I am with him, in fear of making it real.
“Still hanging out with Tyrell?”
“Yeah, he’s cool.”
“And how are things with Zarmenus?”
“They’re really good,” I say. “No complaints.”
“You’re lying.”
Curse her and her ability to immediately tell when I’m telling the truth.
“Fine, they’re a little rough.” I start picking at my fingernail. “But it’s fine.”
