Page 42 of My Roommate from Hell
Maybe it’s the uniform, but they’re all very attractive. I pick the youngest looking of them and point as subtly as I can.
“I should go explain myself,” says Zarmenus. “Hopefully he’s not too mad at me.”
He makes it sound like he wouldn’t mind it if he was. I laugh as he walks toward them. He might be really annoying sometimes, but there’s no denying he can be very charming.
I check my phone as he explains things to them. It’s three in the morning, so there’s nothing really going on. When Zarmenus returns, he’s grinning from ear to ear.
“What?” I ask.
“I got cute fireman’s number,” he says. “I’d call today a success, don’t you think?”
Not exactly. What I wanted was to get one, just one, proper night of sleep. Not to be out here while my roommate flirts with a fireman.
“Listen up,” calls one of the firemen. “The building’s safe, so you can head back inside.”
By the time I make it to bed I’m so exhausted I know I’m going to fall asleep quickly.
“Do you think it’s too early to message him?” asks Zarmenus. “I don’t want to seem desperate.”
“I’d wait until tomorrow.”
“Noted. And hey, I’m sorry about waking you.”
“It’s fine. I’m not mad, you can’t help nightmares.”
“I know, but I’m still sorry.”
“It’s all good.”
I get into bed. Zarmenus turns his TV on, and loads his game. I grab my earplugs and put them back in.
I think I’m overtired now, or maybe it’s the adrenaline, or the lights coming from the TV, but I can’t sleep.
I roll over and face the brick wall.
This will get better, I just need to give it time. I hate my next thought.
I don’t see how it could get worse.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
This comedian is bombing.
It’s hard to watch.
I’m sitting at one of the wooden tables at Toohey’s, one of only two full-service restaurants on campus. They are hosting a stand-up comedy night, and thankfully it’s not students who are performing, but instead, they’ve hired a few actual comedians. The first few that I’ve watched have been pretty good, but this guy?
I have to hope it’s an off night.
I’m with Tyrell, and he’s brought his roommate, Avery McCleery. I did ask Zarmenus if he wanted to come, but he said he had plans with one of his frat brothers. He’s been out all day. I’m pretty sure he’s been spending most of his time hooking up, and you know what? Good for him. As long as he does it somewhere other than our room, I don’t care at all what he gets up to.
Unfortunately, he still hasn’t started cleaning up his side of the room. I caved and threw out a few food containers he hasn’t touched since move-in day, as they had started to go moldy. If he noticed, he didn’t comment.
But I’m not thinking about Zarmenus tonight. I am here with Tyrell, and Avery, who seems nice. He’s a business major who loves anime and has a self-described second life as a drag queen called Red Velvet.
Even though Toohey’s doesn’t accept meal plan swipes, we decided to split the bill and ordered a bunch of appetizers: chicken wings covered in buffalo sauce, waffle fries, and jalapeño poppers. It’s all so absurdly delicious I am starting to think I’ll eat here all the time when I get a part-time job.
“So I’ve been trying to get in shape,” says the comedian. “To impress the ladies. Good thing a circle is a shape, am I right?”
