Page 57 of My Roommate from Hell
HE SAID WE’RE BOYFRIENDS, HOW COULD HE DO THAT?
“I know,” he says. “I freaked out. Dad’s always been such a big fan of love and I knew it’d get him off my back.”
I feel like my head is about to explode from sheer emotional overload. I’ve lived with him long enough to know that humans and demons aren’t that different. He might have magical abilities, but when push comes to shove he’s like a lot of guys I’ve met: ones who don’t stop and think for a second before they open their mouths.
“You couldn’t have thought of anything else?”
Distantly, I remember what Maleilius said about Zarmenus being attracted to me. There has to be some sort of trick there, right? He isn’t attracted to me. If he was, that would be obvious. Although that’s the least of my concerns right now.
“I panicked,” he says. “I’m sorry.”
“We have to tell them it’s not true,” I say.
“We can’t.”
“Why not?”
“My parents, Dad especially, well, he’s used to getting his way. And if he’s happy about us being boyfriends then he will want us to be boyfriends, no matter what I want. Plus, he’s never been a fan of people who lie to him, which you did just do.”
“Because you made me!”
“Look,” he says. “This is a shit situation, but we can make the most of it.”
“No!” I say, letting everything out. “It’s not a shit situation, it’s a mess that you made. I didn’t do anything, I was just sitting there, and now you, what, want me to pretend to be your boyfriend, which involves lying to the literal king of Hell who apparently hates liars? I can’t.”
“Please,” he says, stepping closer, bringing a wave of heat with him. “There has to be something we can work out.”
I shake my head. “I don’t think there is.”
“Listen, it was a spur-of-the-moment thing, and if you’re really uncomfortable with us pretending to date, I can call Dad right now and tell him the truth. I don’t want to ruin college for you, Owen. I really don’t.”
That’s for the best. That said, I don’t want to be Zarmenus’s boyfriend by any means, but I can’t help being, I don’t know, a little curious about it. Stuff like this has never happened to me.
No, I’m being ridiculous. It was only last night that I was so frustrated with him I wanted to tear my own hair out. And that’s being his roommate. I can’t even imagine what it would be like to be his boyfriend, even if it is fake.
“He’s not going to, like, hurt you or anything, will he?” I ask.
“No!” he says. “Definitely not. But this will be the last straw. He’ll say I can’t be trusted with this task and make me go back to Hell. I’ll tell him it was all me, so you won’t have to deal with him.”
Zarmenus’s shoulders slump. It’s heartbreaking, and even though it’s what I wanted last night, now that it’s staring me right in the face, I’m finding I don’t really want this. At least not in this way. Living in a different room might be easier, but I don’t want Zarmenus to go back to Hell, especially when he so obviously doesn’t want to. Plus, there’s my internship to consider. The deal was I make it to the end of the semester living with Zarmenus, and I show how humans and demons can cohabitate. If he goes back to Hell, the internship is off the table.
“Hypothetically,” I say, and I can’t really believe I’m even saying these words. “How would it work?”
Zarmenus’s smile makes my heart soar. “We could come to some sort of arrangement.”
“What are you thinking?”
“You would be doing me a huge favor. So, I don’t know, is there anything you want from me? If there’s anything in my power to give you, it’s yours.”
“Leeke already offered me an internship if we can stay together the whole semester,” I say. I haven’t told him about it yet, but now seems like the time for the complete, unfiltered truth. “Together, like, in the room, nottogethertogether.”
“She did? Wow, you’ve been keeping secrets, roomie. And you want this internship?”
“More than anything.”
“And you don’t think she’d give it to you if I went back to Hell?”
I shake my head.
