Page 77 of My Roommate from Hell
“Completely,” he says, his smile lighting up his face. “Go on, try it on.”
I pull on the hoodie. As I’m pulling it down, Bell appears by the window. She licks her paws, but her eyes are locked onto me, as if she’s assessing how I look. I can’t tell what she thinks from her expression; she is still mostly a cat, after all. I tuck my hands into the pockets.
“Well? What do you think?”
“Adorable,” says Zarmenus as he leans back in his desk chair. “Absurdly adorable.”
“I bet you say that to all your fake boyfriends.”
“Only you. Speaking of, can I take you out tonight?”
“What do you have in mind?”
“What do humans normally do on dates?” he asks.
“We could go to the movies?”
“Your plan to sell to the world that we’re dating is for us to go and sit in a dark room?”
He’s right, that won’t work.
“Actually, wait, I’ve got it,” he says. “I saw this on a few episodes when I was researching. Do you like bowling?”
“I love bowling.”
“It’s a date.”
It’s a fake date,I remind myself.
It’s nothing to get excited about.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
I’ve decided I’m not going to be nervous about this date.
It’s totally fake, after all. It’s literally for show, so no feelings need to be involved. If anything, they make everything harder. Way harder, really. The correct move is to treat this like it’s a regular roommate hangout. It will be fun and easy and I won’t overthink everything.
The only issue is Zarmenus isn’t here yet.
He had a class before the time I booked in at the bowling alley, so he said he would meet me here.
And he’s now ten minutes late. Leaving me loitering in the bowling alley’s entrance area, holding a bouquet of flowers.
I check my phone, and nothing. I look across the lobby and catch the guy working the desk watching me. Oof. I’m sure he’s seen his fair share of horrific dates. I wonder if they ever get bored of seeing them, or if they all gossip about what’s going on in the break room or a group chat. Will they talk about the poor guy who got stood up as soon as I leave?
I breathe in, then exhale. He’s not that late yet. And even though he’s been better lately, he is still Zarmenus.
This bowling alley has leaned into Y2K nostalgia, with color combinations ripped from the nineties. There’s a big screen in themiddle of the lanes playing throwback music videos: as I’ve waited I’ve seen Gwen Stefani, the Black Eyed Peas, and Nelly Furtado.
I’m still wearing Zarmenus’s hoodie, and it smells like him. Plus, even though it’s been a while since he gave it to me, it still feels supernaturally toasty. It shouldn’t be possible, but normal rules don’t apply to my roommate.
As I was hoping, this bowling alley is almost full, with only a few free lanes, and most of the people here look around our age. There is one solitary man in a bowling shirt near the far end who I’d guess is in his sixties, but I think it’s a safe bet that everyone else is a Point student. Or maybe he is, too. Maybe he’s decided to get a degree or get educated in a different field. If that’s the case, good for him.
I hear the double doors of the alley open, and I spin around, annoyingly hopeful that Zarmenus is here and I’m not being stood up for a fake date. But it’s a pair of girls. By the way they are standing close to each other, I assume they’re on a date, and not only that: they’re a couple. To be honest, I think having a relationship like that is the dream. To be together and not have to worry about impressions or if they like you back. I would love to not have to ask those questions all the time, because I’d know the answers.
How long does it take to build something like that, though?
Maybe I should just go. Ten minutes is enough time to wait. First I need to get rid of these flowers.Flowers?What was I thinking? I leave the entrance area and start looking around for a trash can. There are none on the left side of the alley, so I go over to check the right, but stop in my tracks.
