Page 91 of Sergei
He stood there studying me for a moment, then let out a long, deep breath. “Damn. I really fucked this up, didn’t I?”
“Yeah, you did.” I didn’t try to hide the hurt in my voice as I told him, “I wasn’t hiding anything from you, Sergei. I just wanted to tell you in a way that would mean something and we’d always remember. Not finding my pregnancy test in the trash while you were brushing your teeth.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I fucked up. No way around it. I don’t think I could’ve handled this any worse.” He stepped over to me and placed his hands on my hips, pulling me over to him. “I just didn’t think I’d ever have this. You. Kids…A family. I didn’t think I wanted it. I didn’t think I deserved it, and I was okay living without that kind of hope.”
I didn’t respond.
I couldn’t.
Hearing the emotion in his voice had me on the verge of tears, and all I could do was stand there and listen as he said, “But the second I saw that damn test, I realized that there’s nothing in this world that I want more. I want this life, with you and this baby.”
Tears broke loose before I could stop them. He brought his hands up and cupped my face, brushing a tear away with histhumb. “I’m sorry. I would’ve never ruined your surprise on purpose. I just never thought I’d want something this much, and I didn’t want to fuck it up.”
Sorry wasn’t a word that Sergei said often, so when he said it, he meant it. I slipped my arms around his neck and smiled, “So, can we have a redo or something?”
“Absolutely.”
“Okay. Wait here.” I placed my book on the counter, then rushed to the guest bedroom and grabbed the balloons and gifts I’d hidden in the closet. Once I had it all bundled together, I hurried back to the kitchen. “I have a surprise for you.”
“I see.” He played along and asked, “What’s all this?”
“Open it and see.”
He leaned forward and peeked inside before reaching in and pulling out the little, white onesie and booties I’d bought. He held them in his hand for a moment, then whispered, “This is real… We’re actually having a baby.”
“Yep. In about nine months or so.”
He ran his thumb across the soft fabric, then in a blink, he’d closed the space between us. He cupped my face and pressed his forehead to mine. “I don’t deserve you.”
“You do, and you deserve this baby, too.”
He slid his hand down and rested it over my stomach. “Never thought I’d be this lucky.”
“Me either.” I covered his hand with mine and whispered, “I love you.”
“Fuck, I love you, too. More every damn day, and I’m going to do everything in my power to make you and this baby as happy as possible.”
And this time, when he kissed me, there was nothing rushed or apologetic about it. This kiss was full of promise and love, and I was a bit disappointed when he pulled back and asked, “Is that what I think it is?”
When I saw that he was talking about my book, I nodded, and he walked over and picked it up. He looked in complete awe as he flipped through the pages. “This is incredible, Lina.”
“You really think so?”
“I do.” He continued looking through each page, and when he reached the end, he closed the book and said, “I’m proud of you, Lina.”
“Yeah?”
“Absolutely. I can’t wait to see what comes next. For you. For us. All of it.”
“I have a feeling it’s going to be good. Really, really good.”
“Hell, yeah, it is.”
He dipped his head and kissed me again, and I melted into him without a second thought. He wasn’t perfect, and he certainly wasn’t a saint. But neither was I. We were two broken souls with haunting pasts and broken pieces, but through all the chaos and wreckage, we’d found something good.
Something real.
We were happy, sharp edges and all. And as his lips moved over mine, steady and sure, one truth settled in my heart. We would face hard times here and there, but we’d face them together. He was mine, and I was his.
