“Okay.”
“Can I offer some harsher criticism?”
I rinsed the toothpaste out of my mouth. “Still no.”
“You’ve been a grumpy bitch.” After a second, he added, “Captain,” as if it softened what he’d just said.
“My mood is none of your concern,” I replied. “So if you don’t mind, you can kindly fuck off.”
He frowned at me when I returned to the bedroom, then shook his head and slid out of bed. “I’m going to grab a snack from the hotel bar.”
When he was gone, I sighed in annoyance. I knew Mason was right. Ihadbeen a grumpy bitch since the road trip started, although I didn’t realize it was so obvious.
And I knew exactly what was bothering me.
I’d been having more dreams about Josie. They weren’t as…intimateas the first one, but whenever I closed my eyes, she magically appeared in my dream. Watching my games from the front row in the stands. Hanging out in the locker room. Giving me words of encouragement when I needed them, and teasing little jokes the rest of the time.
But even though these dreams were innocent, there was still a lingering sense of intimacy. The remnants of that first dream hanging over every other one that followed.
It was torture. I was tormented every night, and woke up feeling even more confused.
Except that I felt happier in those dreams than I did when I was awake.
I knew it was because I had been watching more of her TikTok videos before bed. If I stopped that, my dreams would return to normal.
Easier said than done.
While Mason was getting snacks from the hotel bar, I pulled up TikTok. It was a compulsion now, the muscle memory of swiping over two screens on my phone and clicking that black logo on the first row. She had posted a new video while we were in the air, which had received a huge number of views. Since the Spurs game, her TikTok channel had really taken off.
To be more specific, since ourkissduring the Spurs game.
It was only supposed to be for show. A quick kiss on camera to shut the fans up. Both of us were acting, because we knew we had to make the date look convincing.
Then why couldn’t I stop reliving the kiss, and the way her hair felt sogoodsqueezed between my fingers?
“Why the hell are you grinning?” Mason asked, standing in the doorway.
I quickly closed TikTok. I was so entranced by Josie’s video that I hadn’t heard him open the door. “Funny dog video.”
He narrowed his eyes at me. “You’re watching her TikTok channel, aren’t you?”
I gave a start. “Why the hell would you think that?”
“Because I saw you watching it yesterday,” he replied bluntly. “Youpretended like you were doing something else, but I could see the reflection of your screen in the bus window on the way back from practice.”
I put my phone away. “Why do you care?”
Mason threw his hands up in exasperation. “Because you’re being a grumpy little bitch! Like I said! I thought you’d be in a happier mood now that you don’t have to go out with her anymore, but it looks like you’re obsessed.”
I’d always been self-aware regarding my emotions. I knew myself, which was more than a lot of people could say. That self-awareness had helped me navigate a lot of tough situations over the past decade.
But for the first time in my life, I felt confused. My emotions made no sense to me.
Which pissed me off.
“Just telling you what everyone else is thinking,” Mason finished. “Do whatever you want, Captain. But stop taking it out on your teammates.”
19