Page 27 of Zero Pucks Given
Me: I wish your videos were interesting enough to stalk. Maybe if you showed some cleavage you’d get more views.
Josie: I know a millionaire athlete like you can’t possibly relate to us normal people, but 30k views is kind of a big deal for me. I made two hundred dollars from affiliate links today.
Me: Two HUNDRED dollars?
Me: American dollars?
Me: Wow. Your rich. I hope you don’t let your new fortune go to your head.
Josie: It’s spelled YOU’RE, not YOUR. Maybe if you paid attention in college rather than playing a stupid game you would’ve gotten a real education.
Me: Yeah, it was incredibly stupid of me to focus on hockey. It only led to a career as a professional athlete who’s famous AND rich. In my next life, I’ll major in TikTok Influencing 101 so I can post makeup videos after my day job selling beer to hockey fans.
Josie: Fuck you, asshole.
Me: Fuck you, too. Can’t wait for our date tomorrow.
I smiled in satisfaction. If this text thread was a battle, I had decisively won. And I didn’t feel bad about being an asshole since she was the one who started it.
I turned out the light and went to sleep.
*
I was sitting in a restaurant, eating a cheeseburger and fries, dimly aware of background noise elsewhere in the restaurant. I was in a private room, hidden from all the other patrons. That was the only way I could eat in peace these days, otherwise I’d have fans constantly coming up to ask for autographs.
But then the curtain partition shifted, and someone walked inside.
“I’ll take a selfie with you after I’m done eating,” I said.
When there was no response, I finally looked up from my food. It wasn’t a fan who was standing next to my table.
It washer.
“A selfie?” Josie smirked down at me. “I wouldn’t take a selfie with you unless you paid me.”
I put down my burger and wiped my hands on my napkin. “What are you doing here?” I asked.
“I was here first,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest, which pushed her breasts up a little higher.
Keeping my eyes glued to her face, I replied, “You just got here. I was eating dinner in peace before you barged in.”
“Go ahead and look.”
“Huh?”
“You’re trying very hard not to stare at my chest. Just do it. You know you want to.”
Her attitude was different than normal. Still confrontational, but with a note of… playfulness? I couldn’t quite place it.
I turned back to my meal. “Pass.”
I blinked, and suddenly Josie was straddling me in the chair. “I don’t believe what you said.”
Blood rushed to my cock. “What did I say?”
“That you can score any time you want.”
“I was talking about hockey.”
