Page 110 of A Forbidden Arrangement
My attacker’s too strong, and it doesn’t take long for them to pull me free of my seat belt.
Tears burn my eyes as Xander’s familiar voice screams at me to fight. In the seconds this all takes, my mind slows down, heart tearing, knowing what this will do to Xander. I dig my nails in harder, drawing blood. The man hauling me out hisses. I can’t let Xander take on this guilt.
He’s saved me in a million ways, and it’s not fair that I won’t be able to tell him.
The sky is a pale blue, the sun shining in mockery of our situation. The man behind me doesn’t let go, speaking directly into my ear.
“You fucking bitch.” He seethes. “My son’s dead because of you. Do you have any idea what it feels like to hear your child was murdered in cold blood?”
My heart stops in my chest. His voice is older but familiar. I want to tell him that Elliot was the one chasing me, that I never would have gone after him. I just wanted to get away, but his grip is too tight for me to get a word out.
“The Everettes think they’re invincible. Protected by the Society. But I thought my family had been protected too. Then that bastard killed him.” Spit speckles the back of my ear and neck. He yanks me backward, and one of my ribs begins to crack. “They took everything from me. My position in the Order of Saints. My company. My son.” The last part comes out on a broken sob. “No one would help me. Too afraid of the Everettebrothers. Helpless against their will.” The pain that had laced his voice a moment ago burns into rage. “But I’m not helpless, am I?”
Cold metal presses against my temple, and with it, the reality that he has no plans on letting me go. “He stole the person that meant the most to me. It’s only fair that he should feel that agony too.”
Like hell I’m gonna let that happen.
He’s too busy monologuing to notice my shift in position, how I plant my feet and move my grip on his arm. Before he can cock the gun, I throw him over my shoulder, just like Xander taught me, and his back smacks into the ground.
He’s heaving, the air knocked out of him with the force of impact, and I scramble to grab the gun he dropped. Standing tall, I aim at his head. My inexperience won’t matter at this distance.
I wasn’t prepared for the way Elliot’s father’s pleas would slice through my heart. He’s brought me so close to death, it should be easy to kill him.
You can do it. You can do it. Just pull the trigger.
My hand shakes so hard the barrel hops a fraction. I hate him. I hate what he’s made me consider. I hate that he put me here, that he brought me so close to death. But hate isn’t the same as wanting to kill. Something inside me recoils at the idea. I imagine the sound the gun will make, the finality, the warm rush of too much blood.
If there’s even a fraction of a chance he might live and go after Xander… If I do it, I become someone who kills in cold blood. Either way, the world changes. I breathe and let the sickness roll through me until there is nothing left…in the end, the decision is easy. For Xander, for the look in his eyes when he thinks he’s failed me, for every single time he’s been my shield, I press my tongue to the roof of my mouth.
I aim between his eyes, terror staring back at me, but my arms are steady as I cock the gun, finger tightening on the trigger.
The gun is ripped from my hand milliseconds before I can fire, and I’m pulled against a hard chest. Xander’s cologne fills my nose as a gunshot echoes around us.
A warm palm travels up and down my spine, Xander whispering soothing words into my ear. “It’s okay. I got you. It’s over now.” I dig my nails into his shirt. “He’s gone. He can’t hurt you.”
“I… I…almost… I…” I inhale frantically. “I almost killed him.”
Xander palms my face in both of his hands, tilting my head so I’m forced to look at him.
“I killed him, Dahlia.” Gray eyes pierce mine. “And I will gladly do it again. I will soak my hands in blood if it means keeping you safe.” His thumb wipes the tears from my cheek. “You are kind and caring and have never done anything to hurt anyone. I am a bad man who’s done horrendous, unspeakable things. Yet you’re not afraid of me.”
I grip his shirt tighter and pull closer, trying to show without words how much I love him.
He drops his forehead to mine, noses brushing, warm air between us.
“So long as you’ll have me, I will always be your monster.”
Chapter 46
Dahlia
Hospitals are startingto feel too familiar.
I told Xander I was fine and didn’t have to come, but he wouldn’t listen. He turned into all growls and barking orders at his men. At that point, I figured there was no point trying to talk him out of it and just gave in and went with it.
Not before yelling at him for giving a dazed Marco shit when he already felt bad enough. Marco apologized so many times I had to order him to stop. He’d looked pretty shocked, and I’ve got to admit, it felt good to be listened to like that.
Luckily, the pain meds the doctor gave me have dulled my headache because my hospital room is rapidly turning into a clown car. Even though it’s a ginormous private suite, there are still only so many people who can fit in here.
