Page 122 of What Are The Odds?
That was fair. And I had no idea what to say to that. I moved closer to Grace, running my hands up and down her arms in an attempt to warm her up. She looked up at me with haunted eyes.
“I know the options, Levi. Either I stay or we break up.”
The thought alone of the latter made me feel fucking sick.
“I wish it didn’t have to be that way,” I choked. “But I can’t give up the Eagles–”
“I know,” she interjected. “And I wouldn’t want you to. Please don’t think for a second that I’m not happy your future is mapped out here.” She smiled sadly. “No matter what happens, I’ll always be rooting for you.”
Now I knew why she’d been avoiding this conversation. It was fucking painful. Grace held all the power. All the pressure was on her. She decided whether to stay and give us a chance, or she decided if she went home and we became a piece of each other’s history. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t considered what it would be like to give up hockey, to turn my back on it and follow Grace wherever she went. But even if I had the guts to take that leap, she wouldn’t let me. Which meant we were back to square one. Her choice would decide our fate.
“Can we leave it there for now?” she pleaded. “Tonight’s been amazing. I don’t want to ruin it.”
While we hadn’t made any decisions, she knew what I wanted. And I knew she was, at the very least, thinking things through. It was a start. She draped her arms around my neck, pulling me lower to kiss me. Her lips were cold, so was the hand that she moved to my face and ran along my jaw. I ignored the sting and made the most of this. In no lifetime would I be ready to give up kissing her. The idea of a last kiss was sickening.
“Did you hear the ‘L’ bomb I dropped, Hughesy?”
Grace smiled shyly. “I heard multiple.”
She went to say more, so I quickly kissed her again, silencing her thoughts. I didn’t expect her to say it back, I just wanted her to have all the cards. To fully understand how I felt about us. And about our future. I lifted both her hands to my lips then blew on them. They were freezing. Though we couldn’t go back inside just yet. One last thing.
“I know we don't have all the answers right now, but I need you to promise me that we’ll figure this out.”
Grace’s voice was barely beyond a whisper. “I’ll try.”
It wasn’t a promise, but I’d take it.
61. What bet?
Grace.
I stretched out my leg, wrapping my hand over my foot to work on my hamstring. We’d just completed another conditioning training, one which had me questioning every bad bit of food I’d ever eaten. Ava wasn’t bothering to stretch. She was lying on her back, staring up at the ceiling. I was half tempted to do the same. Though I knew I’d regret that decision tomorrow.
“Let’s go out for breakfast,” Stella suggested. “I’m over the food hall selection.”
My stomach turned at the thought. “I can't think about food just yet. Give me a minute.”
Outside the weather was miserable, so the gym was busy with team programs. The football team were currently taking up the majority of weight machines, and the cheerleading team were making use of the padded floor space. The hockey team were nowhere in sight. They had an away game tonight. Summer Spritz stalked up and down her team line, shouting commands and instructions. As always, she donned her booty shorts. And she wore them bloody well. It was easy to understand why Levi had slept with her. Heck, she wasnotmy type and I found I could easily fantasise about what she’d be like in bed. On Saturday night she’d been at the hockey game and appeared later at Lastlings. She was always around. Where there were athletes, there was generally cheerleaders. I no longer felt any angst or jealously when I saw her though. Sure, thinking of her and Levi sleeping together still made me cringe, but that was the past. I didn't see her, or anyone else, in his future. Especially not after he’d admitted he loved me. His admission had floored me, causing my stomach to drop quicker than a rollercoaster. I’d loved hearing it, particularly because I knew how much he meant it. Though as much as he’d repeated it the past few days, I hadn’t been able to bring myself to say it back. Because how could I tell him I loved him too when I wasn’t sure what came next? Admitting I loved him was as good as deciding to stay. I couldn’t saythatthen book a flight home. It didn’t go hand in hand. I agreed with him. Long distance was off the table. It was stay or go home. Be everything or be nothing.I love you and I want you to stay.He made it sound so simple when it was anything but.
Stella clicked her fingers in my face. “Earth to Grace.”
“Hm?”
“Your phone.”
I looked down. The screen was lit up. I checked the messages. They were from Dylan. He was sending through the latest flight deals. He was so desperate for me to come home for Christmas. I was leaving it late. It was just over two weeks away. The Christmas break was the biggest one I was going to get from classes and training until I graduated. It was the only one to really make a thirty-hour commute home worth it. If I didn’t go back now, I had to wait until May. And that was assuming I didn’t decide to stay a bit longer, to see where this thing with Levi and me went.
“Dylan’s just sent through another flight,” I explained.
I read the details before laughing.
“For this afternoon apparently. I guess they’re selling last minute tickets.”
Ava sat up. “Really? Come with me Grace. I hate flying alone.”
I reread the information. Sure enough, it was the flight Ava was on later today. She’d brought her ticket to go home for Christmas months ago. There was still a week of classes and trainings, but the school was generally more lenient with international students knowing it would take them longer to get home.
“I haven’t decided if I’m going back yet,” I told her, switching legs.
