Page 127 of What Are The Odds?
Tripp clamped a hand over my shoulder. “Let’s get you out of here before you make a dumb, drunken decision and hook up with one of these leering puck bunnies.”
Never in a million fucking years. I couldn’t imagine even talking to one. Let alone kissing or touching one. I couldn’t envision a time would ever exist when hooking up with another girl didn’t feel like I was doing the wrong thing by Grace.
Will held out his hand. “Keys?”
I leant forward, reaching into my pocket before slamming them into his hand.
He herded me out of my seat. “Let’s go.”
I wasn’t used to being on the other end of receiving orders, but I was too drunk to object. I followed the guys to the parking lot. Ryan’s car was haphazardly pulled in behind mine, boxing me and a few others in, as though he’d skidded to a stop expecting to find my hands around Ryker’s throat. It wasn’t a totally crazy prospect.
“We’ll meet you at home,” Tripp called out, climbing into Ryan’s passenger seat.
I fell into mine. It was strange being on this side of the car. The first thing I did was slide the seat all the way back. It was way too far forward. Grace was the last person to sit in it. Fuck. Everything was going to remind me of her. I don’t think I’d even be able to sleep in my bed. I’d be able to smell her all over the pillows and sheets. Rather than follow Ryan home, Will headed in the opposite direction.
“Where are you going?”
“To get food to sober your drunken ass up.”
I didn’t object. I hadn’t eaten since before the game. Usually afterwards I ordered enough to feed a family. No wonder I’d got drunk so quickly.
“Tell me what happened.”
After taking an encouraging breath, I got it all off my chest. Explaining how Grace found out, to how Summer knew in the first place. Really, the fact Grace hadn’t found out sooner was a surprise. If Summer knew, it was likely a lot of people did. Hell, she’d even told Tripp. Deep down, I think I’d known this was coming. I just hadn’t expected Grace to run off like that. I thought she’d give me a chance to prove the bet meant nothing. When Will pulled into the drive-thru, I mumbled my order to him while he relayed it to the voice box. Now I’d been in a moving car I was starting to feel queasy. I leant forward, resting my hands on my thighs. Will glanced at me with pity.
“Are you going to be okay, man?”
“I’ll be fine after some food.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
Of course not. I rocked back in the seat, my head falling against the headrest. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’d ever sat in my passenger seat before. This was a first for me.
“I don’t know,” I admitted.
Even though we never figured it out, I was picturing my entire future with Grace. Now she was gone. Just like that. This morning I’d stirred when her alarm went off. She’d kissed my forehead before sliding from the bed. If only I’d known then how the day would pan out. I would’ve pulled her back in. I wouldn’t have let her go.
64. Home
Grace.
I sat on the beach, feet tucked beneath me while Dylan and Seth surfed. I’d paddled out with them, but I was too rusty to keep up. I might beswimmingfit, but I’d lost my surfing fitness. Three waves and I’d been gassed. I’d arrived home to a sea of people wanting to see me. My brothers. My close friends. Luke and his family. The past week I’d been floating from one catch-up to another. It was a nice feeling, feeling like I was back in my right place. I knew my way around. I knew the locals. I hadn’t needed Google Maps once. And nobody asked me to clarify shortened words or Aussie slang. It was all so familiar. It was home. The sky was slowly brightening. Here, the sun didn’t rise over the ocean. But it was still a killer place to ring in the day. The air was already warm. We were in the midst of a heatwave. Last night the temperature hadn’t dipped below twenty-seven-degrees-celsius. The warmth was a shock to my system. While I wasn’t used to Philadelphia’s chill, I’d lost touch with South Australia’s heat. My body temperature was idling somewhere in between. It’d felt that way for a long time, like part of my heart belonged here while the other belonged wherever Levi was. My throat constricted just thinking about him. The flight home had been brutal. Philadelphia to Los Angeles. Los Angeles to Sydney. Sydney to Adelaide. Thirty-six hours. The whole time I’d left my phone on flight mode, distancing myself from reality. Now I was here, the American sim no longer worked. That hadn’t stopped Levi trying to get in touch. He’d reverted to Messenger. There were countless unopened messages, some of which were long paragraphs. I wasn’t ready to look at them yet. I missed him so bloody much. Each night I’d found myself scrolling through my camera roll, leering over pictures of us. Halloween. Thanksgiving. His hockey games. My birthday. We’d packed so many amazing moments into such a small span. I could only imagine what a future camera roll would look like. But I wasn’t sure that future was still an option anymore. Being reverted to a wager was hard to stomach.Even if the bet hadn’t existed, everything would’ve happened the same way.But it had.Because you and me, we’re meant to be, Hughesy.I’d really believed that. Which is why I’d been considering upending my life to stay with him after graduation. But now? I wasn’t so sure. Not because I’d lost faith in what I meant to Levi. I knew he loved me, knew things had been real since we really got to know each other. But he’d lied to me about this. If he’d just been honest, when things had shifted from casual to more, maybe it wouldn’t have stung so much. The sand crunched as Seth and Dylan jogged towards me, surfboards tucked beneath their arms. Even carrying my board down to the beach had been an effort. It was more difficult than I remembered. I was a full kook nowadays. My brothers sat down on either side of me, feet slipping beneath the sand.
“I’ve missed this,” I told them.
The sky had transitioned to look like fairy floss. Pink and orange mingling with the clouds.
“We’re pretty bloody lucky,” Seth said, leaning forward to roll down his wetsuit.
Mine was already rolled down, bunching around my waist. While the morning was warm, the water wasn’t. It’d practically knocked the breath out of me when I first dove under.
“Have you decided what you want to do tomorrow?” Seth asked.
Luke’s family had invited us to Christmas lunch. So had our extended family, as well as the neighbours.
“Can we hang at home, just the three of us?”
Neither of my brothers objected. It was nice that others wanted to make us feel a part of their family. It’d been that way ever since mum and dad died. Friends and extended family reaching out, as if Dylan, Seth and I had no one. But we did. We had each other. We were our own family. That’s all I needed. Especially right now.
