Page 57 of What are the Risks
This week’s tear count was currently at three. Once when a Snapchat memory popped up of Noah and me from a date night, then when I found one of his sweaters buried at the bottom of my wardrobe, and finally, when I was watchingFriends with Benefitswith Jaz and Justin Timberlake organised a flash mob for Mila Kunis. If I wasn’t getting my happy ending, no one else should.
I pushed through the dull ache in my chest and called the group chat instead. Daisy answered first, then Jaz, then Bri.
“Hey, Ruby,” Daisy said. “Are you at the airport yet?”
I panned my camera to the parking lot. “I’m still waiting for my ride, but I have some exciting news.”
I told them all about my conversation with Dr. Spring, backtracking to give Jaz and Daisy some background on Dr. Jefferson since they’d never heard of him.
“Seattle,” Bri thoughtfully murmured while chewing her lunch. She was still inside the hospital. “Would you move there?”
I shrugged. “I mean, why not?”
Going home next year wasn’t an option. Not only because Noah would be there, but because Ryker wouldn’t. I had no real reason to go back. Just my parents and Ryker’s family, but as harsh as it sounded, even they weren’t enough.
While Seattle was further than I’d imagined moving to, perhaps that was a good thing. It could be a real fresh start, a place where nobody knew me as‘Noah’s girlfriend’.
After breaking the news to my friends about Noah’s list of side pieces, I’d called my parents. Though even as I told them Noah and I were over, I kept parts of the truth to myself. For his sake? For mine? I wasn’t sure. There was still an invisible part of me protecting him, the part that still cared.
Less than five minutes after hanging up with my parents, Cherie had phoned – Mum had wasted no time passing that information along. I’d made Cherie promise she wouldn’t tell Ryker. With his football game coming up, I hadn’t wanted to distract him.
He still didn’t know. I’d have to fess up to him at some stage this weekend. There was a fine line between concealing the truth and outright avoiding it.
“I’m glad you’re going tonight, Ruby,” Jaz said. “It’ll do you good. A night with Ryker is exactly what you need.”
“Have you told him yet?” Daisy checked.
I sighed. “No. I’m sure it’ll come up at some point.”
As the wind picked up, I combed my fingers through my freshly cut hair. The new length still surprised me each time I caught my reflection. It used to fall halfway down my back, but now it ended just above my shoulders.
When going through a breakup, it was a rite of passage to either get a tattoo or a haircut. I’m sure my parents were relieved I’d chosen the later.
“Do you want to know what I think?” Bri asked, continuing to speak without waiting for an answer. “You should hook up with someone tonight.”
The mere thought of that set off an overwhelming amount of emotions. Panic. Guilt. Nerves. Sadness.
Hooking up with someone new wasn’t as straightforward for me as it was for my friends. It would take my record fromjust Noahto something I’d never wanted.
Bri’s expression softened, as if I’d just voiced all those concerns out loud. “I’m not saying have sex with anyone. But you will need to move on at some point.”
I knew that. But not tonight.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
His loss
Ryker
I sat opposite Levi Holloway while the social media team modified the lighting. He was wearing his hockey jacket and cap. I was basically in the same outfit, only the football version. His gear was still justified, given his season wasn’t over yet. Something he’d already reminded me of twice since I showed up.
The Phil-U social media team had us recording a new video, some sporting quiz they planned on posting everywhere.
Over the years, they’d had Levi and me film countless content, each concept more random than the last. Why people would willingly watch a video of Holloway and me tag teaming sporting facts, I had no clue. But what did I know? My social media game consisted of resharing whatever the football team posted.
“When’s your next game?” I asked Levi, making small talk while we waited.
“Tonight. We’re hosting Allentown.”
