Page 72 of What are the Risks
“My whole life.”
“And you’ve always had a thing for her?”
“No. She’s been in a relationship ever since she was sixteen.”
“And she’s not anymore,” Gretchen simply alluded.
Ruby was single for the first time since I’d gone down on a girl. Since one had gone down on me. Since I knew what it was like towantsomeone.
We’d grown up through scraped knees, braces, and the awkward years of puberty. By the time I’d realised how gorgeous she was, she’d been with Noah. Since there was never a chance of anything happening between us, I guess I hadn’t allowed myself to go there.
That wasn’t to say I hadn’t ever thought about it. For every game of mine she came to, or every morning I woke up beside her, I found myself wondering what it would be like to give in to the natural progression that happened when spending that much time with the opposite sex.
In every way that counted – except physically – Ruby had always acted like my girlfriend. It’s why I’d never felt the need for a serious relationship – I hadn’t needed it when Ruby filled that void, and any intimate needs were easily met with a casual hookup or fling.
“What matters more to you?” Gretchen asked. “Satisfying the itch with a one-night stand, or protecting your friendship?”
I muffled a yawn as I shrugged. That kiss wasn’t just about hooking up, but it wasn’t the start of anything serious either. Honestly, I had no idea what it meant. All I knew was that in the moment, kissing her felt right.
“I can’t lose her,” I settled with. “She’s my best friend.”
As Gretchen leaned closer, blinking slowly, I noticed her lashes – way too thick to be real. Damn. Maybe Ruby had been onto something.
“Then give her some space. Let her come to you on her terms. If you push after she clearly pulled away, you’ll damage the friendship for good.”
Talking this through with Gretchen, a girl I’d slept with, was kind of strange. But she was so sure of herself that she didn’t seem to mind. It wasn’t like she’d hooked up with me thinking it would lead to a relationship either.
As I stifled another yawn, Gretchen picked up on the hint and got to her feet. “I’ll see what the hold-up is.”
As over the top as the mountain of cushions were, I couldn’t deny that they were comfortable. Nestling deeper, my thoughts drifted to Ruby. Was she freaking out? Waiting for me? Had she told Tori? Bri? Jaz? Daisy? Noah? Did she want me to pretend it hadn’t happened? Would I make things worse if I brought it up?
I hated the idea that I’d shifted the dynamic of our relationship, but I couldn’t bring myself to regret kissing her either. I had enjoyed it. And if I was being honest with myself, there was a part of me that wanted to do it again.
I briefly shut my eyes, replaying the kiss like a game highlight, but before I reached the end zone, I drifted off to sleep.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Don’t hate me
Ruby
When my alarm went off, it felt like I hadn’t slept a wink. I’d crawled into bed sometime after midnight, waiting for Ryker so that we could talk – but he never came. His side of the bed was still made, only slightly ruffled from when he’d tickled me – right before stealing a kiss that made me see the world differently.
I now lived in a pre-kiss universe, where things were how they always had been, and a post-kiss universe, where Ryker made me question so many things my brain couldn’t keep up.
Just thinking about him made my lips tingle – his clearly hadn’t though, because if he’d felt anything at all, he’d be here right now. He wouldn’t have dodged me all night – or had I been the one avoiding him?
After finding Tori in the basement, I’d stayed there the rest of the night – waiting. If Ryker wanted to find me, he knew exactly where to look. I guess the empty bed was proof he hadn’t.
After slipping on my glasses, I rubbed at my temples in frustration. The kiss was already making things messy. I didn’t overanalyse when it came to Ryker, because until last night, I’d never had to question what anything meant.
But he’d kissed me.
Sure, I’d kissed him back. Buthe’dinstigated it. It was only fair that he take charge on the fallout.
Throwing off the covers, I headed to the bathroom to take a quick shower, hoping that by the time I was done, Ryker would be in his room. But that wasn’t the case, and it didn’t change even as I got dressed, or when I packed my bag, or when I headed downstairs to wait for my Uber. Luckily I’d never ended up cancelling it.
I was glad to be skipping out before the cleanup began. There were many tells a party had gone down last night. Half-a-dozen football players were passed out on the mismatching furniture in the living room, some with a beautiful girl cuddled against their muscled bodies.
