Page 96 of What are the Risks
“I told you I didn’t hook up with Evan,” I said.
“You still kissed him.”
Apparently, they’d talked. Clearly Evan wasn’t great at keeping up the act either.
“As an experiment,” I explained. “That’s it.”
“An experiment?”
To see if you’d take the bait.
Was this Ryker taking the bait? Did I want him to?
I turned back to my suitcase, pretending to sort through it while I pulled myself together. “Don’t obsess over it, Wheels. People kiss all the time without it meaning anything.”
“People, maybe. But not you, Rubz.”
“You and I kissed and it didn’t mean anything.”
“It meant something, and you know it.”
“Yeah. Okay, Wheels.”
I hadn’t realised Ryker had gotten up from the bed until his fingertips brushed my wrist, coaxing me to look at him. I drew a steady breath, forcing my gaze to meet his.
“That kiss meant a lot to me, Ruby. I haven’t stopped thinking about it.” He cautiously took a step closer, seeming to relax when I didn’t pull away. “I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to tell you that, butthat’swhere my head is at. If yours is somewhere else – if you weren’t into it and you’d rather pretend it never happened – I’ll respect that. Whatever you want, Ruby.” His dimple appeared as a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. “But just to be perfectly clear, I wanted to kiss you then. And now...” His tongue darted out to wet his lips. “I want to kiss you again.”
Fireworks erupted in my mind, all at once. It was like the freaking Fourth of July up here.
“But Gretchen,” I started.
“Nothing was going on with her.”
I rolled my eyes. “She filled me in on your sex-capades, Wheels.”
“I slept with her before I kissed you, and the only reason I hung out with her afterwards was because I was trying to convince myself I didn’t feel anything for you,” he hurriedly explained “Nothing happened with her after you and me. I promise.”
“But last night–”
“That was her weird way of helping me.She knew I was worried I’d freaked you out when I kissed you – especially since you bolted from my room straight after.”
“Because I was surprised,” I blurted, feeling a rush of relief at finally saying it out loud. “I needed a moment to work out how I felt. Then when you never came looking, I assumed you ran straight to her.” I paused, steadying my thoughts. “You were the first boy I kissed since Noah, Ryker. That was a big deal to me. So when I woke up alone the next day...”
I left it at that. Best not to deal with that baggage tonight.
As confronting and vulnerable as this conversation was, finally understanding each other felt liberating. I wished we’d mustered the courage and done it sooner.
Ryker dragged a panicked hand through his hair. “Fuck, Rubz. I’m so damn sorry. I’m a fucking idiot.”
He never lost his cool, not even on the field. It’s why he made such a lethal quarterback. He was always in control, even when the odds were against him.
“I swear, I never touched Gretchen after I kissed you. I fell asleep on her couch waiting for Pat.” He momentarily glanced up at the ceiling, as if searching for the right words or courage – or both. “Things changed for me after we kissed... actually, they changed when you sent me that photo.” He held my gaze, seeming confident. That made one of us. “I don’tjustwant to kiss you again, Rubz.”
Ryker wasn’t blinking, and I wasn’t breathing. Was the earth still turning? Or had that admission brought the whole world to a standstill?
That should’ve freaked me out, but instead, it was having the opposite effect. Heat unfurled within me, starting in my chest and spreading everywhere.
I tucked my clammy hands behind my back, hoping it would keep me from reaching for him. Every instinct in my body was telling me to touch him – and every desire was hoping he’d touch me – but my brain wasn’t on board.
