Page 152 of What are the Risks
“Are you sure it’s not something more?” I pressed. “You just closed the door on a huge chapter, Wheels. It’s okay to admit you’re feeling flat.”
He opened his mouth, letting out a measured breath. “I’ll miss the guys and Phil-U. But I’m ready for what comes next.”
“Is that what’s on your mind? The Draft?”
“No. I’m thinking about other stuff.”
“Right.”
Ryker wasn’t obligated to share all his thoughts with me. Just because we shared body parts, it didn’t mean he had to let me in on everything. But that didn’t stop the nagging feeling that churned in my stomach for the remainder of the drive.
I knew him. Something was off.
When we finally reached my house, I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I cracked worse than Humpty Dumpty.
“You’re freaking me out, Wheels. What’s going on? Talk to me.”
Ryker didn’t look my way, even after cutting the ignition. His gaze remained fixed ahead, locked on my car parked in the driveway in front of his. It was the only one there. Bri was on night shift, Daisy was working late, and Jaz was visiting her parents.
All my vulnerabilities rose to the surface as he inhaled deeply, preparing himself for something I already knew I didn’t want to hear. I clutched my seat belt, bracing for impact as though the car was still moving.
“I can’t do this anymore, Rubz.”
Nothing could have protected my heart from that collision.
I nervously tucked a loose piece of hair behind my ear, my fingertips catching on the frame of my glasses. I’d put no effort into my appearance today. I was dressed in a sweatsuit and sneakers, with my hair tied in my signature messy bun – a far cry from the girl who’d been on the Phil-U Athlete of the Year’sarm on Friday night.
“Do what?” I asked softly, already knowing the answer.
“Hook up. Sleep together.”
Without the radio or engine running, the quietness in the car was stifling as I searched for the right thing to say. Ryker and I had only ever agreed on casual, so why the hell did this feel like a breakup?
“Is – is it something I did?”
Ryker shifted in his seat, finally facing me for what felt like the first time all day. Despite the sweats he was dressed in – black joggers and a Phil-U hoodie – and having spent all day cooped up in the car too, he still looked as good as ever – enough that I could easily jump his bones.
But after that admission, I definitely couldn’t do that.
“Fuck! Sorry, Rubz. That didn’t come out how I meant it to.”
“So try again.”
His lips parted, as if the words were right there, but something was holding him back from saying them. “I don’t want to be your rebound or a casual experiment anymore,” he eventually admitted. “I want to be with you, Ruby.”
“What do you mean?”
“Like, official boyfriend and girlfriendtogether.”
Completely taken aback, my mouth fell open as every word in the English language abandoned me. I hadn’t been expecting that. Boyfriend and girlfriend? Ryker and me?
“Being with you has come so easily, Rubz,” he went on. “Easier than breathing. Hell, easier than throwing a football. I can’t picture a world before we were together, and I have no desire to imagine one where we’re not.” The corner of his mouth tugged into a shy smile, causing his dimple to appear. “I want all of you, and I want you to have all of me. Truth is... you already do. There’s never been – and I know there never will be – anyone who means as much to me as you do.”
I searched his face, but there wasn’t even the slightest hint of madness or humour in his expression. Ryker was being serious – perhaps more serious than I’d ever seen him.
“I... I’m sorry,” I stuttered. “I... I’m trying...”
My thoughts were refusing to catch up.
