Page 70 of Prize for the King
“You… Do you hate touching me?”
Arvi throws me a look of utter contempt, his brows gathered into a thick frown, pierced lips twisted.
“Excuse me? What the fuck gave you that insane idea?”
I blink in confusion, remembering Arvi’s professions of lust. However, washing me is different, and he did express some dislike for human bodies earlier.
“Um, you flinched away.”
His face smoothes, and he sighs heavily, leaning with both hands spread wide on the lip of the tub.
“Really,laruna, that innocent act is gonna kill me. It’s like you have no idea—how much we want you. What I’d like to do is climb in this tub with you and do filthy, nasty things, but my queen has commanded me to wash her, so that’s what I’ll fucking do. It takes every bit of my self-control to doonlythat, and I am still grateful for the privilege. Yeah? Please, don’t ever think again that I don’t want to touch you.”
He's right. They’ve told me repeatedly they want me, they showed me, they made it clear. And yet, again and again, it’s as if I forget it as soon as my blush of embarrassment fades away. Because deep inside, I don’t believe it’s possible for me to be wanted like this.
“I’m sorry I’m so dense,” I mutter, looking away, my cheeks heating with shame.
Arvi snorts with disdain, gripping my jaw and turning my face until I’m forced to look at him, his hold verging on painful.
“No, nuh-uh. First of all, you don’t apologize to me, becausethisI fucking hate. And second, you’re going to look me in the eye and say, ‘I’m smart and beautiful’ ten times in a row right now. Go on.”
Panic swirls in my belly, my throat closing up with a ridiculous terror. I try to look around his angry face at Raduna, hoping he’ll save me, but the big knight leans against the wall, watching us with a serious expression. Arvi tightens his hold.
“Look at me.”
XXI Bald
“Or what?” I bite out, my shame, guilt, and embarrassment giving way to anger.
“Or nothing,” he says with a snort. “You’re my queen, I serve you, and right now, I believe this is the service you need. Say it, Caliane.”
I try to shake my head, but his grip is too tight. There is something recklessly thrilling about being held like this, being commanded—for my own good. This, I deeply sense. He’s doing it for me.
“Just whisper it, then. ‘I’m smart and beautiful.’ Go on.”
I close my eyes, hot tears gathering in my throat. All I wanted was to rest after this horrible, terrifying day, and what do I get? This deep, pulsing pain in my chest that feels all encompassing, unquenchable. I grit my teeth, desperately trying to push the pain away, but it roars louder and louder the more I refuse to acknowledge it.
“Maybe another time, Arvi,” Raduna murmurs. “Don’t you see how hard this is for her?”
“If we postpone it, she’ll just keep fearing it until it’s even more difficult. Now, Caliane. Move your lips. ‘I’m smart and beautiful.’ It’s not a complicated sentence.”
“But it’s not true!” I explode, shocking myself with the loudness of my scream.
“Then lie to me,” Arvi says, unconcerned. “Go on. Lie to me, sweet. Just say it.”
“I’m smart,” I bite out through clenched teeth, my breath catching. My entire body locks into a hard ball of resistance. “And beautiful!”
His hold on my jaw gentles, and Arvi leans close, surprising me with a soft kiss on my forehead. “That’s my girl. That was perfect, Caliane. You did so well. Now say it again. It will please me very much.”
I open my eyes, angry that he’s using Khay’s trick for training me, and even angrier at myself that it’s working. My body shakes all over, powerful forces tearing me apart.
“I’m smart and beautiful and I hate you,” I say, looking belligerently into his eyes.
“Lovely,” Arvi says with a grin. “Again.”
“I’m smart and beautiful.”
“Perfect, my queen. Again.”
