Page 31 of A Very Killer Christmas
I put in my notice right after Christmas. It would be impossible to work and still take care of her the way she deserves. Plus,Prudy is not ready to move out of this house, even though it’s a daily reminder of the hardships she experienced here.
“Oh.” She stares at the test I’ve handed her. There’s a smiling baby on the packaging. I smile at it, and then at her, waiting to hear what she’ll say.
We never talked about this, but I know she noticed we never used protection. Prudy is smart, even if she’s innocent about some things.
When she looks at my face, she seems withdrawn, shrinking into herself. Her eyes are wary, and I frown.
“What’s wrong, baby?”
She releases a shaky breath. “You bought it for me because you expected it. And I mean… It makes sense. I just… I didn’t think that far.”
Her eyes look everywhere but at me. She hugs herself with both arms, the test held tightly in her fist.
“I expected it,” I say calmly. “I hoped you’d get pregnant fast. Will you do the test? I want to be sure before I break out the fireworks.”
She seems taken aback, her eyes finally landing on mine. “Fireworks? You’re… happy? But I thought…”
“What did you think, sweetheart?” I ask gently. “Did you think I didn’t know what pumping you full of cum every night would do? I did that on purpose. I want you to have my baby. More than one, I hope.”
“But we’ve known each other a month!” she explodes, confused and frustrated the same way she was when I put up Christmas decorations to make her happy.
My chest wrenches with sadness and anger on my girl’s behalf. She’s confused and lost because she doesn’t understand how someone can want her as much as I do. Someone seriously fucked up in her past, teaching this beautiful, fascinating woman that she wasn’t worthy of love.
I don’t say that, though. I don’t show her my anger, because she’s not the one who deserves to see it.
“Soulmates, remember?” I say with a smile. “And baby, I know you had sex ed at school. I know you knew the risk as well as I did, and you never said a word about it.”
She looks away, shuffling her feet clad in colorful fluffy socks that I got her a few days ago.
“Yes, I knew,” she mumbles. “But I thought… I don’t know.”
“What did you think?” I ask, lifting her chin so she has to look at me. Her eyes are wide and angry, still confused, and a bit defiant.
We stare at each other in silence, and I caress her chin with my thumb, waiting patiently until she tells me. When the silence stretches, I ask again.
“What did you think?”
She huffs, grits her teeth, and glowers at me.
“I was certain you’d leave, and I wanted to have someone to love! But you’re still here.”
She breaks away and stomps to the bathroom, locking herself in. I stare at the door until I hear the sound of her peeing, and then I race down the stairs, taking them three at a time, until I reach my coat hanging by the door.
I reach in the pocket, taking out the small, velvet box I got three weeks ago. I was going to do it tonight, anyway. I had this whole date planned, a nice dinner, champagne, romantic music, but this is even better.
I’m back upstairs before Prudy’s done, and I wait, pacing in front of the bathroom door as my heart hammers with nerves.
She’ll say no, I know she will. I’m ready for it, because it’s only prudent, and Prudy’s character has a lot to do with her name. She’s cautious about many things, which still surprises me after the way she accepted me so easily.
But the goal isn’t to get her to agree. I want her to start thinking about it, so she slowly gets used to the idea, and then, after Iask her again in a month and she refuses again, it won’t be as shocking.
I’m ready to keep proposing for years if necessary. Until she says yes.
The bathroom door clicks open, and I freeze, breathing faster and faster.
I tell myself it is nothing, that I knew what I was doing, but the prospect of her telling me no has my gut churning. I want her to say yes. Her refusal, though expected, will crush me.
“It’s positive,” she says, showing me two pink lines on the test.
