Page 108 of The Christmas Holiday
Chapter Twenty Four
‘What the hell?’ Hunter exclaimed as he pulled the door open. I realised my sudden decision to knock on his door before I backed out had probably resulted in its being a little more forceful than I’d intended. His tie was now off and the top couple of buttons on his tailored shirt undone. His suit jacket was slung over the arm of the chair and a bottle of mineral waterdangled from the fingertips of one hand. ‘Mia?’
‘You’re right. We need to talk.’ I stepped into his room and walked over to the couch. He followed me and, when I turned, his eyes were down.
‘What?’
‘I’m sorry. Those shoes are kind of distracting. Carry on.’
I peered down. ‘They are?’
Hunter ran a hand over his jaw. ‘Big time.’
I shifted my weight, suddenly thrown. ‘ShouldI take them off?’
‘God, no! Sorry. I’ll concentrate. What is it you wanted to talk about?’
‘Us.’
‘I thought you’d said it all out there.’ He tilted his head at the corridor.
‘But I didn’t say anything.’
‘Usually when someone says “I don’t know what to say”, it’s not good news. I wanted to spare you having to go into it all. You don’t need to find excuses for me, Mia. I alwaysknew it was a long shot.’
‘But you see, that’s it. You’ve got it wrong. I meant I don’t know what to say because every time I look at you, the last thing I want to see is you leaving again.’
His eyes were dark in the low light from the bedsides. He shifted his weight. ‘I sense there’s a but coming.’
I gave a head wiggle of concession. ‘But. There was a reason we split up before andI’m not sure those reasons are resolved. I know you think you were the only one with a broken heart before, and I guess it probably did look that way, but I can assure you that wasn’t the case, Hunter. When you left, it felt like my heart had been ripped right out of me. And worst of all, I’d done it myself. I sat down by that front door and cried solidly for two hours, desperately hoping I’d hearthe car, that you’d change your mind. I never wanted you to leave. But I knew I couldn’t give you what you wanted. The longer things went on, the more I knew that, as much as I wanted to be, I wasn’t the woman who could make you happy. And I’m not sure anything’s changed.’
Hunter sat on the end of the bed and reached out, gently taking my hands and pulling me closer.
‘So many things havechanged, Mia. But the one thing that hasn’t is that I still love you more than anything in this world. When I came round after the surgery, they asked me if I wanted them to contact you. Apparently I’d been calling your name in the MedEvac helicopter. More than anything I wanted to say yes.’
‘Oh, Hunter,’ I whispered as he pulled me closer still, his arms moving to my waist. ‘But what aboutall the other things?’
‘What other things?’
I took a step back. Being this close to him was making my brain fuzzier than I needed it to be right now.
‘I know how much you loved the childhood you had, and I know you want to be a father one day. But I can’t be that perfect stay-at-home mum. I’ll always need to work at something. It’s part of who I am.’
Hunter was frowning. ‘Mia,I never expected that of you. I knew we’d find our own way of doing things when the time came.
‘It was the perfect situation for our family but everyone is different. Every family is different. I’d get annoyed when you’d just dismiss it because it felt like a slight on my family. But I know now it wasn’t. It was your defensive mechanism. You explained all that and I’ve had the time, and gainedthe wisdom, to see that.’
‘Oh.’
He lifted his hands again and gently tugged me back towards him. ‘So. Is that all of your objections?’
‘Umm. Yes. Pretty much.’
‘You know I’m still going to want to protect you, and care about you, and do stuff for you. I can’t help it. And it’s not because I don’t think you’re capable of doing it yourself. I know you can and you never, ever needto prove anything to me. I do it because it makes me happy to do things for you. And because I’m still crazy about you, no matter how much I tried not to be.’
‘Then I’ll do my best to accept things graciously. But just know I’ll be doing the same for you. For pretty much the same reasons.’
His mouth curved up as his hands slid down. As they hit mid thigh, they came to an abrupt halt, andhis eyes met mine.
