Page 73 of The Christmas Holiday
‘Why not?’
When I didn’t answer, she tried again. ‘Is it just the hospital today? I’m sorry we forced you intogoing but it was important to check you were OK.’
‘Yes. I know. And I’m grateful to you both for being so kind. I will, of course, pay you back for everything.’
‘Oh, don’t be so silly. Forget about it now. We just have to make sure you take it easy. We have some quiet days factored in now anyway after the bungee tomorrow so it all works out fine. Don’t go thinking you’ve let anyone downor anything like that. It could have happened to anyone.’
‘It didn’t, though, did it?’ I said, my voice thick with dejection as I pushed myself up onto one elbow. ‘It happened to me. In front of Hunter, of all people, and then there was all this fuss. He said from the start I wasn’t the right person for this job and, in his eyes, I’m pretty sure I’ve proved that to him.’
‘Rubbish.’
‘Liv, that’s kind of you but—’
‘But nothing. Between you and me, he told me just yesterday that he thought you were doing a great job, both on our stuff and the other bits Dad has you working on. Did you show him some pieces or something?’
I paused for a moment, considering what she’d said. ‘I needed to look at some shots to help me finish a piece up – you know, get back into the atmosphere.He asked if he could see what I’d written so far.’
‘And?’
‘And I showed him.’
‘And?’
‘And he did some nodding and said it was good. Hard to tell what he meant.’
Liv tilted her head. ‘I think he meant it was good.’
‘Maybe.’
‘No maybe about it. Hunter’s not going to let his work be used alongside something he thinks could be better. And he’d have told you if that wasthe case.’ She frowned. ‘Surely you know that?’
I began worrying my lip with my teeth, concentrating hard on keeping a check on the tears that were rebelliously building again. ‘No. I’m not sure I do. To be honest, I’m not sure I know him at all. I’m not sure I ever did.’
‘You were together three years, weren’t you? Of course you knew him. How could you not?’
Good question. But itdidn’t change how I felt.
‘Did something happen?’ Liv prompted when I didn’t reply.
I shook my head.
‘You know I don’t believe that, don’t you? I was being polite when I asked whether something had happened. It was obvious to both of us that something had. You two looked bloody awful when you walked back into the hotel, and bearing in mind Wade had cleared you medically, it had tobe something else.’
Her phone gave a “mwah” kissy sound – the text alert she’d set up for Sandeep – and she pulled it from her pocket and scanned it before quickly typing a reply. ‘Hunter’s on his third straight Scotch. Sandy’s going to steer him to his room in a minute. Mia, what happened today?’
I replayed the row in my head, over and over, until it was almost deafening in my skull.
‘Have you ever been absolutely sure you did the right thing? Never doubted it, even though others thought you were crazy? Even though it was painful, you knew without question it was for the best?’
‘And now you’re wondering whether it was the right thing after all?’
‘Yes. No. I don’t know. But he said… things today. Things I didn’t know, or maybe didn’t quite understand back then, thathave made me think perhaps it wasn’t all so black and white as I thought at the time.’
I couldn’t concentrate on holding in the tears at the same time as everything else and no longer even wanted to. I’d kept it together in the car, determined not to cry in front of my ex, whatever he said, or accused me of… or made me realise. One tear had escaped in the lobby but I was hoping he’d missedthat. But now the gates were open and everything was spilling through.
‘Oh sweetie!’ Liv pulled me to her and hugged me, and somewhere in the back of my mind I clocked that I was currently soaking a six-hundred-quid T-shirt with salty tears, but Liv didn’t seem to mind and I was beyond stopping now anyway.
When my chest and shoulders began to relent in their heaving, I sat back and swipedthe heel of each hand across my cheekbones to mop up as best I could. Liv disappeared for a moment into the bathroom, reappearing with a cool flannel, which I gratefully took and used for a quick wipe-over.
