Page 74 of The Christmas Holiday
‘Better?’
‘Much. Thanks. Sorry about all this.’
‘Oh God. Don’t apologise,’ she said, tossing the flannel casually across the room where it landed squarely on the drinks tray. ‘WhenSandy and I had our first major row, I was a mess! This,’ she waved her hand at me, ‘is nothing! Honestly, I think I was on the verge of diva-dom if we’re honest.’ She winked at me. ‘But I don’t care. It means we feel, and that we’re in touch with our emotions, and that’s never a bad thing in my book.’
‘But you made up with him, obviously?’
‘Yes. But for a moment I thought I’d wreckedeverything.’
I smiled at her, and held her hand. ‘I’m glad it worked out. You two are perfect together. He’s obviously completely nuts about you.’
‘Hunter says he’s just nuts but I like your version better.’
I twisted the sheet around the fingers of my other hand. ‘Remember when you asked me if our breaking up had had anything to do with Hunter’s change of outlook on commitment?’
‘I do. You said no.’
‘I did.’
I could feel Liv’s eyes on me. ‘And now you’re thinking maybe it does?’
I lifted my gaze slowly. ‘Let’s just say I’m not as entirely sure any more that it doesn’t. And I’m not quite sure how to deal with the fact that I might have been responsible for that.’
‘OK. Now you listen to me. Hunter is a big boy and he’s quite capable of making his owndecisions and dealing with his own shit. Whatever happened between you two back then affected both of you, but you did what you thought was right with the information you had at the time. That’s all anyone can ever do. And don’t feel too bad. It’s not like he locked himself away in a monastery! He’s had plenty of time and opportunity to work on any issues he had. Whether he chooses to or not is entirelyup to him. Not you.’
‘I know, but—’
‘No buts. I’ve got to know you on this trip, Mia, and as much as people think I’m a bit of a rich, blonde bimbo who gets upset when people talk about obituaries, it’s not true. All right, some of it is but I’m not stupid and I’m a pretty good judge of character, which is why I forgive Hunter his jibes, because I know he’s really a great guy and woulddo anything for Sandy and me. This whole trip is a joke compared to what he could be doing right now. And what he could be getting paid to do.’
I looked up from where Liv was handing me two of the painkillers Doctor Dexter had sent me home with.
‘He’s not getting paid?’
‘Not exactly. And not through our choice, I hasten to add.’
‘Oh! No, I didn’t mean—’
‘I know you didn’t.But he refused to take anything. Said he wanted to do it as a friend. If we could cover the expenses then the rest was free of charge.’
‘Wow.’
‘I know. Obviously that still didn’t sit well with us so we came to an agreement that we’d give the fee to a charity of his choice. And I can see the cogs whirring in your head – don’t you dare feel bad that you’re getting paid for this. It’s ajob. We already knew Hunter as a friend and he’s lucky enough to be in a position to be able to offer something like that. I wouldn’t even have told you if I’d thought you might start feeling you should do the same! Besides, I know that, if it was an option, you totally would have. I also know that, whatever happened today, and whatever you did five years ago, you did it because you thought it wasright. Not out of spite or indifference or anything else. If you’ve got new information from what I imagine was a fairly major argument between the two of you, judging by the body language and the fact that Hunter was considering ordering a fourth Scotch, then that’s not something you knew about when you made the initial decision. You can’t start torturing yourself now about what you did then.’
‘No. I know.’ Olivia was right but the knowledge didn’t make it any less confusing or painful. I knocked back the pills with a big glug of water and lay back on the soft, downy pillows.
‘It’s never too late, you know,’ Liv said, not meeting my eyes and fussing about with the duvet instead.
‘Never too late for what?’ The comfort of the bed, combined with the day’s events and emotions,was winning out against my determination to stay awake.
‘For second chances.’
My eyes opened a little more as I met hers. ‘Second chances? You mean for me and Hunter?’
Liv nodded.
I replied with a sad smile. ‘I think it was too late for that the moment he stepped foot outside our house five years ago.’ My eyes closed as I said it, remembering the scene, the bulk of him behind thewheel, slamming the door, backing hurriedly off the driveway. Out of my life for ever. It had been better that way. I’d been able to box away the pain. Keep it sealed tight. And then I’d been given the chance of a lifetime…
‘Get some sleep.’
I heard Liv’s voice in the foggy recesses of my brain before everything faded away into darkness.
